A Study in Contradictions

Please, have a cake. 

I'm laliandra , mostly shortened to Lal. I'm prone to rambling, spontaneous singing, sarcasm and absent-mindedness. I wish I could carry the whole of XKCD round with me to sum up my life. I would kind of like to be a con woman or a Blue Peter presenter when I grow up.

I have a livejournal account that I live at, a Twitter account (now locked but feel free to add me) that I mostly use to flail at people and an AO3 account that I love.

I write fanfiction and my Master List is under the cut. I feel so accomplished, you have no idea. This is literally the most organised thing in my entire life.

Um, my feeling about friending is, essentially, YAY FRIENDS \o/

Please, do friend me, and then leave me a comment so I know who you are and so we can get to know each other. This is the place to ask any questions that you might have or say hi or point out any terrible typos or bad Americanisms or general fails I have made in my fics. Seriously, it takes a village, you're welcome to join mine.

( MASTER LIST! )

More About The Author :D

Due a nomadic childhood I have a weird nowhere accent that confuses people. Once upon a time I was a student of French and History and I still love to talk languages (moods! Loan words! translation loss!) and how the people of the past are not the Other but just us, then. I recommend books both personally and professionally and inhabit a tiny London flat with my tiny girlfriend and a large stuffed octopus.
bookdeyada_clubmarmalade_fish

I love a lot of fandoms and a lot of things that I am not actively fanish about but would love to ramble and squee with you about!

So, yes, anything you want to know, just ask! Here are some suggestions which I have shamelessly stolen from other posts. Top Fives! Random Facts about one of my Fics (like DVD extras only ramblier)! The Inside The Actor's Studio Quiz! Or anything you like.

Look! I used my elite graphics skillz to make the poster that lc2l made me into an icon. I am not so good at this things, y'all. BUT WHATEVER LOOK IT IS MY LIFE MOTTO AHEM I MEAN THE MOTTO OF CONPEOPLE.

If I have seemed a little MIA it is because I went to babysit my grandmother for a week. She had an operation and has reached the stage where she is bored and trying to do to many things, and I was called in to use my special First Grandchild Powers to get her to sit down and relax.

I had a lovely time, my family are amazing and also crazy, but that's part of what makes them amazing.

Great aunt : [Friend] said she was going to pop in
but then she saw [lord of the local manor house, Old
Money, goes to their church) leaving and she said "well, if Pat (my Granny) wasn't
already tired out she will be now."
Granny: Quite what she thinks I'm doing with [said man] I do not know.
GA: He did come with cheque book in hand
Granny: And he knows I only take cash.

Also we had an awesome discussion about how wrong it is that there is no societal judgement on young men for having lots of sex whereas girls get called slags, and are usually the only ones who have to deal with the consequences and my Granny was like, well, unless the young man gets the clap.

Their house is slightly alarming because everywhere I looked Tiny!Lal looked back (but cutely, am I right?) but there was a charming cat who wished to be snuzzled all the time and took action if he felt he was being ignored.

Aaaaaaanyway, this post is actually a CARDS, CARDS, WHO WANTS CARDS post.

I'm finally starting to get excited for the festive season - though not as excited as Moog - which may be because I currently have four Christmases and a possible fandom meetup planned for it. I'm not a religious person but eeeee, carols and advent calenders and LIGHTS, LIGHTS EVERYWHERE.

SO! DO YOU WANT MAIL? SAY YES! I love sending out cards and random things to people. No reciprocation required.

I know I have addresses for some of you, if I have several you need to tell me which one you would like it sent to.

But everyone else, comment on this post with yours. If you don't want to share it with the world wide web then comment anonymously (just sign yourself out of LJ) and that will be screened for your protection and privacy! Or you can PM me orrr email me at muchadoaboutcogs at gmail. You can email me about other things too, obviously, but at the moment we are on post. Focus, self.

Also, if you would like any specific kind of card (Christmassy, Hanukkah-y, British-y, Fandom-y, Hogswatch-y, Sorry we killed Jesus-y) then tell me that too!

I'm sure I can get testimonials from people who have already given me their home deets that I have done nothing worse with it than sending them random flyers that I think are amusing.

Oh, and if you made a post about sending cards, I may have missed it, I probably missed it in fact, so please feel free to assume my answer is yes! (\kdjhgPOSTkdjhg) or link me to it.

Aaaand I think that's everything. How are you my beloveds? Today I ran out of Castle episodes and it was very sad, and I have to clean ALL THE THINGS because my bf's parents are coming up.

I have absolutely no idea how that happened.

Well, I mean, I do. I vaguely think about things I want to post and then I get on the internet and forget all about it. I also planned to have finished some of the many and terrible WIPs I have on the go right now, but that, er, hasn't happened either? And then I just think of more things I want to write and I think my brain just sort of gets log-jammed with ideas.

Anyway, in the past month I have tweeted a lot, liked a lot of things on tumblr, finally got myself a TSN icon, totally made "wardo" as a verb happen, played through all three Jojo's Fashion Show games, had the sleep schedule of a mad insomniac and generally failed about the house in my socks and misbuttoned pyjamas.

I have had some on and off temp work, sigh. It's so depressing. The other week I worked for six days, standing up for pretty much eight hours straight every day, and in the end, I scraped past earning £200 *gets back under quilt and doesn't come out*

I also went to a wedding in Wales! It was... Are you going to call me crazy if I say it was very wedding-y? It was like the show-home of weddings. Nat's cousin is a professional cricket player and all of his friends are sportsmen and they all have very WAG parters and it was very... Wedding-y. Also I accidentally flashed my arse to a bunch of people but that's a story for another day.

Oh! Also I watched all of Band of Brothers and wept into my gchat window at daisysusan and there were pretty boys covered in dirt and heartbreak and it was amaaaaazing.

I've been trying to write this entry for like, five hours, and I'm being terrible at it, so, like, ask me things in the comments or whatever. How have you beeeeeeeen?

To make up for it, here is a masterful characterful study of Mr Rochester, by laliandra and moogle62

( ps no that is not my crazy wife in the attic shhh just come )

It’s probably a sign of how poor I am at actual blogging that I am taking it as a great victory to be writing about something that only a happened a week ago. A mere seven days! \o/!

So yes, a week ago I went with altogetherisi to see Darren Criss play a solo concert at the Garage in Islington. I’m still not exactly sure how Isi got the tickets but I’m pretty sure that actual magic was involved.

Anyway, due to times and price and other fun stuff, I had to get a bus that left at 6.45 in the morning to get me into London at a decent hour. Which meant that there would be plenty of time for hanging out and scoping the area beforehand. We met at Victoria and got on the tube, merrily debating what we should do when we arrived at the venue four and a half hours before the gig was due to start. It turned out that what we would be doing was QUEUEING. By the time we arrived there was already queue the length of the building.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE FANGIRLS.

Which meant that we had to stand in line for four with nothing to do but talk to each other and admire other people’s starkid shirts and glasses. Luckily talking for hours on end has never an issue for us.

Lal: *details all the big bangs she knows about* TLDR they are all going to be amazing.
Isi: And the Wardolope one! Cutest ever!
Lal: I also have info about that one! I am just a endless font of random TSNBB knowledge.
Lal: Also did I mention that my two artists are novembersmith and alexthegreat ?
Isi: Oh my god.
Lal: Right?
Isi: OH MY GOD
Lal: RIGHT?!
Isi: How on earth did you manage that?
Lal: I have no idea.
*ten minutes of squee later*
Lal: But seriously I am very excited about art claims.
Isi: Really...

( extra, extra, read all about it )

So, yes, it was a wonderful gig that I got to go to with a friend that I love to see a musician that I love. It was seeing a fanboy made good. It was totally worth the sunburn that yes, I did end up getting, which is extremely ironic in the light of my pod_together  story (which will be up on Friday! And features the mild objectification of one Blaine Anderson!) I am still slightly heart eyed, starry eyed, shock-wide eyed about the whole experience and plan to relive through photos and videos many times over.

In another, slightly related point of interest, I got a tumblr. Because I needed to waste more time, obviously. Tell me who I should be following, ie which of YOU I can stalk on yet another social networking platform. I am probably going to be linking from here to there but not the other way round, if you see what I mean. I blame Kara. Also I like to tag.

This is such a self indulgent post, really, but my brain feels all implodey. I'm still getting over a throat infection and I slept on my friend's floor last night, which is the first bit on context you need. And Leeds train station was covered in posters for the Hush Hush sequel (the book that altogetherisi and I find more upsetting than Twilight. Really. What Aja (and awesome linkees) said, only with considerably more swearing. My hatred is endless) which made me full of violent thoughts. All in all, everything is a bit strange and vague with sleep and rage right now.

Mostly, though, my brain is being eaten alive by it being all WIPs, all the time...

So, this is what the inside of my head looks like...

Inception (Just in case you hadn't worked out that this fandom has eaten my brain or were worrying about running out of fic *g*)
( Oh, so very many (dangerous) ideas )




*cries* Steampunk AI AU which has been a WIP for *mumblemumble* months. Years. Lifetimes.
( I can practically write this part from memory )

500 words of Summer fics
( Yes, yes, I know, not summer anymore )

Sigh. And those are only the ones that have a googledoc of their very own. I hope y'all are doing well! Feel free to commiserate or just say hi or whatever. It's all groovy <3

Today I found out that my contract at my horrid temp job has ended. Hopefully this means that the universe is going to reward me with work that doesn't involve feeling my IQ drop by the minute, and dealing with Dicks.

Anyway, I have fabulous adventures to relate to you!

On Friday I headed off to celebrate the birthday of the excellent playwithfyr , aka Pyro but mostly aka Play. It was a Fish Birthday Meetup, with Isi and Bec and Lisa, oh my, all there too.

Me: *arrives*
altogetherisi : Thank god you're here. They don't like Lady Gaga!
r_hayburn : Would you like a glow in the dark gecko?
lisaheron : Why is the ukelele being like this? 
playwithfyr : It's okay, Lal is here now to be the Responsible Adult.
Everyone: *looks doubtfully at Lal*
Me: I also go by "Corrupting Influence"?

We had barbecue food indoors, because the summer conspired against us. During the meal we talked about Many Things, such as pirates and demons and the Guardian of the Dead and booklust and memes. There was also debate on what constitutes shipping and what is some separate thing where you don't need anyone has to like each other or be happy, you just want them to have really, really hot makeouts. (I do not call this shipping)

Isi and I also told everyone about our RPS conversations, aka The Greatest Conversation Ever Had In A Starbucks Before An Adam Lambert Concert.

Isi: It's like Lal and I were saying, once you've slashed the President of the United States, there's no going back.
Me: Don't forget our metaphor! RPS is like a slippery slope...
Isi: But a slope into a really fun place. More like a slide...
Me and Isi: Like a ball-pit!

It's the truth, people.

Then we went out to the campfire and toasted marshmallows and made s'mores. I would say that it was the sugar high that made us go slightly crazy, but that would be a lie. A terrible lie.

People were supposed to be teaching me how to play the ukelele but we kept getting sidetracked by, well, everything. We did a LOT of singing. It turns out that you can sing almost any song in the world to 4 chords played on the ukelele. You haven't lived until you've heard Take On Me, Don't Stop Believing, No Happy Ending and Let It Be all sung together. 

The plan had been to go inside and watch the first episode of Firefly (because there were people present there who hadn't seen it!) but the plan ended up devolving into Lal and Isi quote the first scene then fall asleep. This was after some discussion about how Bec might be a werecatapillar. 

The next day Lisa thoughtfully woke Bec by jumping on her and then we had cookies for breakfast. That pretty much set the tone for the day.  We were meant to be going on a picnic, but it was raining. A lot. But we were determined, so we packed the car full of food and set off.

Lisa: We are five fish and a ukelele. Sounds like a band!
Isi: Or a bad euphemism.
Play: The Bad Euphemisms would be a great name also.
Isi: In ~your~ endo...
Me: I'd like to double ~your~ entendre.
Bec: Now we have two album titles.

Then we sat in the in car, balanced food on every available surface and had a very fine picnic. We were occasionally beset by spies, and then the End Of the World (or at least the part where the sky turned into water and then fell on us) happened. But we sang the Zombie Song and braved it out.

Sadly then I had to leave. But, it was because it was Nat's birthday! We went to a huge family barbecue at his brother's girlfriend's father's house, and it was great! I made pistachio cupcakes for Nat, by the way, and it took a really, really long time. Turns out finely chopping 100g of pistachios without a blender will <i>break your spirit</i>. They are delicious, though!

I think the evening can best be summed up by this conversation, which I am naming A Treatise on the Perils of Drinking

Girl I have just met: Hey I like your necklace. It very much compliments your breasts.
Dude I have just Met: Even as a gay man, I can appreciate that those are very good breasts. 
Me: Er, thank you?
DIHJM: I also like your top!
Me: Thank you! I like your top too!
DIHJM: You should come into this room and swap tops with me!
Me: OK!

So that was fun!

As for the rest of my life.

It looks like this. ALL THE TIME.
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ETA; YOU GUYS, WHY IS MY .GIF NOT GIFFING?

Hey you guys!

Not dead, or time travelling. Just faily.

So, other stuff forthcoming. But, whatever, I just want to catch up with everyone, say hi, hang out, you know the kind of thing.

This last weekend I spent with my three ex housemates. I hate just calling them my friends because I lived with them for a long time - with Belle for the best part of 4 years, actually -  and it feels inadequate to use such a catch all word as "friends" that I use for people who have not nursed me through tonsillitis, seen me naked, sung along to whole of the Sound of Music, talked me through my dissertation and know who the Invisible Friends are. You can find out more about them in a rambly thing I wrote about moving out of my last house.

Anyway, they all live in London now. Wren lives on a canal boat that her boyfriend rebuilt from practically nothing, which is kind of hilarious and bohemian, and very cool. She has just got a job at Hampton Court Palace. Belle is tutoring after finishing an intern-ship at UNICEF, and wants to be an English teacher, and Sal is going to do voluntary work overseas. I don't see them as much as I'd like.

It was a very cool weekend. I got there on Friday, by coach. I seem to have perfected the art of not making people want to sit next to me on the bus, which is a life skill and probably also a troubling reflection on my ability to look like a crazy person.

We managed to get free beers in a Cuban bar, which was a better reflection on all of us, and had pizza and concerned our fellow diners by appearing to talk in code and making very loud excited noises about everything, especially the puddings. We also talked about my ongoing unemployment.

Belle *very serious*: Have you considered a life of crime?
Me: Um...
Belle: My boss at UNICEF asked me that!
Wren: You do have a very deceptive face. Just promise you won't go into terrorism.
Me: I was thinking something more along the lines of international jewel thief.
Wren: I'm sure it's a very glamorous life and not at all dangerous.
Me: Exactly. Now I know what to put on my Career Objectives.

Me and Wren were staying in the spare room in Belle's house, and even though we were both really tired, in the best tradition of the sleepover, we stayed up really late talking about nonsense.

Wren: Who is that guy who sings 'Summer of '69'?
Me: Bon Jovi? Oh, no, Bryan Adams. I get them confused.
Wren: Oh yes. I get him confused with Phil Collins.
Me: But they aren't anything alike! One has bad hair and is Canadian and the other is the fat drummer from Genesis. It's not like you are getting him confused with Ryan Adams.
Wren: There is also Ryan Adams? Who is he?

And so then I sung a lot of songs by people who were Big In The 90s. I'm still not sure if Wren knows who Ryan Adams, but my version of 'Baby, When You're Gone' was pretty good for 1.30am, if I say so myself.

On Saturday, over breakfast and Earl Grey tea, we looked at election maps and tried to work out what the hell had happened in our national election. The answer, No one Knows! Which is... confusing. Frankly. But it was interesting to see all the speculation, and also to mock the Conservatives. It's always a fun game, but tempered greatly by the thought of David Cameron representing our nation to the world. So. Upsetting.

We went to Covent Garden for lunch, which was awesome as usual. On the way there all my friends were very harsh about tourists on the Tube and I tutted at them and reminded them of their hick roots. Although, it is annoying when people stop suddenly in the middle of the corridor because they are lost. God, I'm such a hypocrite. While waiting for Sal and her boyfriend in the café we managed to accidentally steal a chair from Noted Comedian Frank Skinner.

Then we went to The British Library. It was AMAZING. Their Treasures of the Library exhibition is incredible! I saw the original copy of Jane Eyre. JANE EYRE in Charlotte Bronte's own hand. And Jane Austen's early writing and the first draft of Tess of the D'Ubervilles with crossings out and rewrites. It was so cool. We had so much fun. I love my geeky friends and our massive amounts of dorky glee.  

Then we went back and made lasagne and Wren filled me in on about a year of Home and Away. It's a seriously ridiculous Australian soap opera that we used to watch together. It mostly consisted of finding out which of the characters had slept with which others, who had died and who had been allowed to live Summer Bay and have a normal life.

Wren: And so she got cancer and died and now her brother has come back oh and do you remember Martha well her boyfriend was thought to be dead only he wasn't and she has only just found out...
Me: Did she have to go stare pensively at the sea?
Wren: For like, a whole episode. She just watched the sea and cried.
Me: I love Home And Away.
Belle's Boyfriend (who has never seen a single episode in his life): What about Bob?
Wren: What?
Me: Oh, he's dead.
*about a minute later*
BB: What about Dave?
Me: Oh, he's dead.
BB: How sad.
Me: Yeah. He drowned looking pensively at the sea.

On Sunday we went to Brick Lane market and people watched and clothes watched, which is like people watching only with more emphasis on their outfits. We had coffee and tea about once an hour because it was so cold. I also lusted after a lot of really gorgeous steampunk jewellery, including some lovely pocketwatch pendants.

All in all it was most delightful! On the bus back I curled up with some podfic (<3) and then wrote some fic. It was probably for the that no one came to sit next to me. I find it hard to write with someone looking over my shoulder.

Since being back I have caught up on my best new show (Over The Rainbow! My love knows no bounds!) and started on Kaz's best show. She sent me all of Season 2 of Supernatural on DVD. I was warned about the shows extremely poor attitude to women (someone once described it as "the show that will not suffer a bitch to live") so I went in with very low expectation. However, NO ONE WARNED ME THAT IS TERRIFYING. Holy hell. I watched some episodes alone and at night and this was a very, very bad plan. I scare easily and dislike horror movies. AHH.

Well, that is what I have been up to? How about y'all? I have missed you! Have you done or seen anything cool? Are you okay? Is there anything you want to ask me?

LET'S CATCH UP.

Hey guys!

I am just so pleased it's the weekend and there is so much cool stuff going on, offline and online, that I am basically a giant happy ball of Lal as I sit here in my pjs (they have pink sheep on them, if you were wondering), eating dried mango.

So I thought I would share some of the things that have been taking me happy places in the last few days, in exciting video form!

There's been a lot of discussion recently about women characters in fiction and in fandom (bookshop and sarahtales have some pretty damn fabulous and fascinating posts on the subject) going on recently. And obviously as a girl with a vested interest in both of those things, it's something that I've been thinking about a lot. I'm sort of umming and ahhing about making a post about My Thinky Thoughts on reading girls and writing girls and all that, but I don't know if I would just be shouting down a hole and/or preaching to the choir. But anyway, there is a festival called halfamoon going on that is fairly awesome, and one of the things that has come out of it is this vid. It's celebration of women in sci-fi and fantasy, of women being brilliant in every way possible. It's pretty much everything I wanted to say, and it's just beautiful and beautifully made.



It makes me feel like I could do anything, you know?


Another thing that is making so very happy is, actually, a TV show. I don't know if it shows, but the thing I love best in the world is books. I can hear your "DUH"ing from here. But I am also exceptionally fond of televsion programmes. Even lots of really bad ones. But sometimes, once in a while, I fall in love with a show like it's a book. I know this sounds weird, but bear with me.

And this show is called WHITE COLLAR. You guys, I cannot even. Everyone in the world should watch this show. All the cool kids are doing it!

White Collar is a show about a con man and an FBI agent and together they fight crime. No wait, they actually fight crime! Neal, master forger, is working for Peter of the White Collar crimes Division, who caught him and put him in jail twice, under probation. Neal has to wear a tracking anklet, neither of them should really trust the other, they are very different people, but they make a Pretty Awesome Team. So far, so mismatched buddy police procedural, I hear you say. BUT WAIT.

What White Collar is also is smart, funny and totally character driven. And said characters are smart, funny (noticing a pattern), wonderfully acted and utterly believable, and 100% adorable. It subverts your expectations, delivers quality acting and has New York City looking so good I want to move there tomorrow.

What White Collar is to me is the equivalent of having a box of puppies delivered to me every week.

Everyone in the show is adorable and I want to hug them. EVERYONE. Neal, who is a charming, I mean unbelievably charming, brilliantly smart conman who wears hats and waistcoats and believes in love and beautiful things and has some Trust Issues but wants to trust Peter. Peter, who is a practical, deceptively brilliant, FBI agent who believes in justice and really likes smart (that is a direct quote, btw). El. who is a funny, sensible events planner who is married to Peter and likes to engage in adorable banter with him and basically keeps the boys from tripping over their tangled relationship and myriad issues. There is also Moz, Neal's friend who is played by <3Stanford Blatch<3 from Sex and the City<3 and who is a hilarious, non people person, conspiracy theorist forger/unassuming criminal genius. The rest of Neal and Peter's team! So adorable and witty! June, Neal's landlady who knows he is a criminal and doesn't care!

A box of puppies, you guys. Did I mention they are all seriously pretty. I mean Matt Bomer - Neal and also Bryce from <3Chuck<3 - is an insanely attractive man, but Tim Dekay has this crazy ninja hotness that blindsides you and frankly the cast as a whole is pretty damn fine. The show is very prettily shot as well.

Furthermore, everyone has SO MUCH CHEMISTRY it is ridiculous. I really believe that Peter and El have this real, really good marriage. Neal and Peter have some of the best bicker-banter I've ever seen (and yes, I've seen Sherlock Holmes). Oh, just watch this video. It's very well made and the song choice is marvellous.



And then go watch White Collar! As I said to shiningartifact when persuading her flailing at her until she agreed to watch it, I feel confident that everyone will love this show. Unless they do not like hot people being clever and adorable in great clothes. And there are only 11 episodes to catch up on!

Aaaand finally. The Winter Olympics starts today! WOO! I mean, as a country we lack the necessary climate and mind set for most of these sports, but I love the Olympics and most importantly, this means there will be ICE SKATING ON TV. I lovelovelove ice skating, y'all. I used to have a Torvill and Dean poster and tee shirt and a video and OMG ICE SKATING. It is the most camp and ridiculous thing to ever call itself a sport. I cannot love it more.

I feel the whole thing is summed up by America's Johnny Weir's routine to Poker Face. No. Really.



It's like Adam Lambert took up figureskating. Or had an insanely talented sparkly ice baby with Lady Gaga... It's so unapologetic and celebratory and wonderful. You do kind of have to ignore the commentators a little, but still. Love.


And that's everything I can think of for now! Come chat, I have about a billion things to say about, well, everything I've mentioned here and you guys are always my happy place.