And The Sky Is Limitless Part 6
Jun. 28th, 2011 03:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
laliandra AAKJASDJH YOU GUYS IT IS DONE. Not quite but upsettingly nearly two years after I started. Thank you from the bottom of my neurotic writer's heart for each and every comment, they've all meant the world to me. Thank you to the lovely #spau fish for their encouragement and patience, and special credit to Bran (and Kris Allen) for this. Thank you to Isi for spoiling and for Starbucks, all of them. Thank you to everyone who let me whine at them over IM. Sorry! It's done now! Thank you to Lauren for helping me fix my srs bsns scenes and suggesting more feeling up. Thank you, although it's not even close to being adequate, to my best friend and best beta, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
brimtoast who made this sprawling mess make sense, and left me the funniest, most insightful, wonderful beta notes. She is the reason I wrote any of this.
Anyway, enough with the speeches! On with the show!
For summary, rating, notes etc please see the Master Post
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five
&&&&&
They tear through ornately decorated corridors, the sound of their feet muffled by the plush carpet. Kris lets himself stay two steps behind Adam and Allie, because every turn they take looks the same to him, whereas they are barely looking around, guided by a lifetime’s certainty.
Adam stops, pulling Allie up short by the arm, and Kris clatters into them like something out of a bad farce, unable to fight momentum and hitting Adam’s shoulder hard. He winces. Adam turns his head to smile at him, fond and exasperated, and they could be on the deck of the Conway right now, with Kris being hopelessly poor at protocol and Adam pretending to mind. Something in Kris’s chest goes tight.
Adam places a finger to his lips theatrically, leans round the corner and then beckons them forward. There is a guard with his back to them at the other end of the corridor, a dark silhouette against the white and gold of the Mansion. Adam reaches behind a curtain – gold embroidered, of course – and something slides with the faintest of clicks. Kris’s heart thuds in his ears until they reach the curtain and slip behind it. Adam is waiting there in a dim, dusty passage, and Allie pushes the door shut behind them.
“Told you we knew a shortcut,” she whispers. “There shouldn’t be any more guards to contend with.” She looks disturbingly pleased with herself.
“Shouldn’t be?” Kris hisses back, because five seconds ago the guard could had a clear shot at Adam. He doesn’t say this though, because Allie’s hands are twisting together nervously, and Adam doesn’t need to hear that either, shoulders set rigid as he climbs the twisting staircase in front of them. Everyone has coping mechanisms; there’s no need to ruin Allie’s.
They climb in silence for what seems an age, passing doors set into the side of the wooden stairs that creak beneath them, the air thick with dust that clings to Adam’s hair and jacket, fading the black into misty grey.
“Neil used to use this to sneak us out of family breakfasts,” Allie says, voice soft. “Father was always doing paperwork. It was deadly dull.”
Adam glances back at them and says, “We used to pick the locks on all the rooms in between for fun,” with a look that goes wistful at the corners of his eyes. “We were good at it, too. The three of us - a proper little criminal gang, breaking out.”
They still haven’t talked about - it, them, anything - and it’s still a hugely inappropriate time, and Allie is still right there, but all Kris wants to do right now is take Adam’s hand and promise him the sky.
They reach a door set in a brick wall, and Adam gives it a thoughtful once over.
“This is the one, right, Al?” he asks, and she nods.
“It seems identical to all the other doors we’ve passed to me, I don’t know how you two do it, ” Kris tells them, and they both preen a little.
“You just have to know what you’re looking for. We’ve had a lot of practice,” Adam says graciously, a dust-covered diplomat.
Adam presses the side of the door and it rolls away, revealing a tapestry of a hunting scene. He and Allie exchange perfect, matching smiles of success.
Kris had thought that the parts of the Mansion he’d seen before were ornate, but this corridor takes the word to a whole new ridiculous level. There is colour everywhere: precious stones set into the windows, gold on the light fixtures, and intricate tapestries over every inch of wall space. This is what Adam and Allie used to escape from - this dream of a place.
There’s one door, carved with crowns, sceptres and curling vines, and set with a five-cog tumbler lock, by the looks of things. Kris has never seen one on anything other than a safe.
“I don’t doubt that you are both very talented lock-picks, but how are we going to get past this?” he asks, the urge to laugh bubbling up inside him. They could have come all this way to sit in a beautiful corridor and watch the light refract through the diamonds in the windows.
Adam reaches out and twists the combination lock. “I’m the Heir Apparent. Perks include knowing the over-ride code,” he says, and unlocks the door.
The door opens into a small reception area, the kind that Kris has sat in many times. It’s the kind meant to intimidate, with lots of sombre, rich furniture and pointedly uncomfortable chairs. Adam goes over to one of the three doors and tries the handle. It swings open, and Allie goes forward and takes his hand. They both look like they’d rather be anywhere else in the world right now.
Kris follows them into an enormous room dominated by a giant four-poster bed. The bed must be the size of most of the rooms that Kris has ever slept in, and he just stops and stares for a moment.
“It’s always been my dream bed. I only hope Gokey hasn’t been sleeping in it,” Adam says. Kris looks over just as he drops Allie’s hand, looking pained. “That would be the final straw.”
“Oh, because trying to kill you wasn’t enough,” Kris says, and Adam laughs, rich and lovely in the stillness. It feels like a lifetime since Kris heard Adam make such a carefree sound. He laughs a little too, letting himself smile properly at Adam for the first time since the, well, the not-yelling.
Adam’s expression changes into one that Kris normally associates with complicated mechanisms, wonder and want and happiness, and Kris thinks if they could only have five minutes not lurching from mortal peril to imminent death…
Allie calls, “Do you have a key for the desk?”
“I’m afraid not,” Adam says. They both hurry over to the large - of course it’s large and pointlessly over-decorated - desk, which is locked with a padlock.
Allie lifts the lock onto her palm and gives it a desultory look. She slides a hairpin out of her hair and goes to work.
“My sister - princess and criminal genius,” Adam says, as the desk opens up under her fingers. Allie stretches up and kisses him on the cheek, and they all lean in to study the contents of the desk, grinning at each other.
“How convenient. All my very least favourite people in one room.”
Kris whips round, perfectly in sync with Allie and Adam, and there are guns being pointed at them. Minister Murdoch is standing in the open doorway with two guards, a truly horrific smile stretching his face. He sweeps a look across the three of them and says, “Oh, I wouldn’t bother with resistance. Allison, that is a hairpin.”
Kris looks at Allie, who really is holding out her hairpin, and doesn’t move his hand from the top of his Acoustic. The two guards in the room edge a little closer together, rifles steadily aimed in their direction. The Minister looks over the array of metal and sniffs, “Captain Allen, my men would shoot you all down before you could even aim, however ‘quick on the draw’ you may be.” He says the words like they’re made up, like Kris hasn’t had to learn to be fast with his gun to save lives. Like this is a game. Kris looks at that mocking smile again and decides that he was right to call Minister Murdoch crazy.
"So, that confirms something for me. How is heading up Le Renard working out for you?" Adam says. His tone is light and conversational, one for afternoon tea, not encounters with firing squads.
"Rather well,” the Minister replies. “I see that your wish to be executed for treason is also progressing nicely." Adam scowls, and Kris feels that cold clutch of fear again.
Kris says, "Daniel Gokey knows we have Adam. And he knows all about your schemes now. He's not going to let the trial go ahead."
"Oh really? You honestly thought Daniel would support you over me? Who do you think told me you were all here," the Minister says, talking as if they're all a little slow and he's already bored of them.
"That damn coward," Allie bites out.
The Minister tuts. "Language, Allison. What would your father say? Oh dear, no."
Kris has never known hatred like this, burning like acid and white hot metal. But then, that's what the Minister wants, this old man in wire rimmed glasses with a mind like the worst sort of weapon. He wants them to hate, and be consumed by it.
"And I think you'll find that Daniel has made the smart decision. Smart people support those with the power to get them what they want. And considering I could have you all killed at this very second..."
Adam says, “There’s no need for this, Minister, really. Stand down the guards. We’ll cooperate.”
The Minister waves an idle hand. “You say that now. But give you five minutes and it’s all irritating survival and breaking out of jail and the like. I fear that it would be too much trouble. You always were far more trouble than your type,” the Minister gives Adam an ugly look, “is worth.” Adam’s face sets hard and he clenches his fist. Allie steps forward a little.
Minister Murdoch chuckles, utterly devoid of warmth. “His Highness does not want you dead, Princess. Nevertheless, I suggest you don’t try anything too stupid. My guards can do enough damage without putting your life at risk.”
Adam says, “Allie, just…” She turns to him, eyes huge and scared and so very blue. “Be smart,” he whispers, voice catching at the end.
Kris feels helpless anger rise up, and one finger strays down the handle of his Acoustic.
“Carter!” The Minister snaps, and one of the guards straightens. “Go take Captain Allen’s gun. He looks like he’s considering some sort of foolishness.”
The guard, Carter, hands his weapon to the Minister and approaches Kris. They’ve clearly been trained well; Kris could have tried to take the rifle from him as he reached to pick Kris’s Acoustic out of his belt. But there’s nothing he can do with two guns pointing at him from the other side of the room. At this range a rifle shot would go right through a person.
“Now, bring the Princess over here.”
Adam looks murderous as he watches the guard drag Allie back, locking her arm behind her with a vicious twist. Kris leans into Adam slightly and feels him shaking a little, the anger only just contained beneath his skin.
The Minister’s expression is one of perfectly composed savagery as he says, “Carter, take the Princess to her room and lock her in. My Lord Daniel - that is, His Highness - will want her...” he pauses, watching Adam’s face very closely, “pristine.”
Kris grips Adam’s sleeve, trying to communicate a warning through the cloth. Allie is marched out of the room, her face schooled blank, but there is no colour in it. The Minister lets his mouth turn up into a supercilious smile, directed right at Adam, who tenses up.
“He wants to get a rise out of you, don’t let him,” Kris whispers, even as he wants to punch that awful leer right off the man’s face.
“Less of that, I think,” Minister Murdoch says. He gestures at Kris with the rifle he’s holding, finger right on the trigger. “Over by the bed. Slowly, now, hands in front of you.” Kris untangles his fingers from Adam’s coat, coming away grimy with dust, and Adam moves, cut short, like he was about to follow Kris but decided against it. He gives Kris a look out the corner of his eye, serious like the one he gave Allie, a be smart, be safe look.
Kris edges over to the foot of the bed, one of the guards tracking his movement with his rifle, eyes narrowing over the barrel as he watches Kris. "Stop there" the Minister orders. The guard throws something and Kris catches it automatically. It's a pair of handcuffs. He looks up at the Minister questioningly. "To the post, Captain. Come along now, it's not difficult."
Kris allows himself a glance at Adam, just enough to see the defiant tilt of his head in profile. Kris puts his hand out and it doesn't shake. He attaches himself to the carved post slowly and deliberately - he figures no sudden moves is probably the order of the day. He leaves his stronger arm free, though, just in case.
“And now you to the right hand post, your highness,” the Minister says. “Can’t have you planning some dramatic manoeuvre. I can practically see that faux-heroic part of you just longing to rush my guard and take his rifle.”
Adam walks past Kris to the other bed post and locks his right wrist to it. The bed is so large that even if Kris stretched all the way out he wouldn’t be able to reach Adam now.
“You can go, Simms,” the Minister says. “I think I can manage things from here.” The guard bows before he leaves, and it makes Kris feel sick. He may not know much about protocol, but he’s pretty sure you aren’t supposed to bow to members of the Court. The message behind the gesture is clear. This man is in charge.
The Minister surveys them. “Yes, this is just how I wanted it. My merry band of troublemakers, now divided and quite at my mercy.” He breathes out. “I could have had Simms shoot you then and there, but there’s something very pleasing about having this much power alone. Yes. Very satisfying. Besides, it wouldn’t fit in with the narrative I’ve been preparing, the one where you are the villains and I get to play at being the hero.”
Kris wants to say, but no one will believe you, but he’s not sure that’s true any more.
The Minister says, "It goes something like this. The two of you come up here looking for His Highness because you're hellbent on assassination,and only my timely intervention stops you killing our beloved new monarch." His voice is singsong sweet, as if he's telling children's stories. It's possibly the most unsettling thing Kris has heard in his life. "I have to shoot you both, sadly, but at least the Idol will be safe."
"This really isn't necessary. You have our weapons and we're already on trial," Kris says. He knows there's probably no reasoning with the man, but he can't just stand there, cuffed to a bedpost of all things.
"I think I'll be the judge of what's necessary." The Minister hefts the rifle in his hands a little - Kris really hates it when there are guns being welded by people that aren't himself - and raises an eyebrow. “You, for example. I’m not sure that I’d judge you necessary."
"Sir," Adam breaks in sharply.
"Ah yes, the errant prince. You have something to say? Do you really think, after everything that you've done, you're in a position to bargain?"
"No. I know there's nothing I can... You can do what you want with me," Adam says, voice low and rough, a patch job of normality. "But the Captain here," he gestures at Kris, the movement jerky, "he hasn't done anything to you. Just let him go. Please."
It's the "please" that undoes Kris. He reaches out blindly for Adam's hand, brushing the very ends of his fingers, and hangs on, bending so their hands are linked, fingertip to fingertip.
The Minister’s expression shifts to uncomfortably speculative. "Not only traitors but degenerates, too," he spits out. "Oh, I think I will enjoy this." He leans on the door frame, casual stance and mad eyes and restless fingers on the trigger.
Adam's pull on Kris's fingers gets harder, as if he wants to grip his hand but can't. Kris risks looking at Adam. He’s staring ahead, right down the barrel of the rifle being pointed at him, head tilted up defiantly, his profile as jarringly handsome as ever. He turns his head towards Kris, eyes brilliant blue and hopeless. And Kris can't see that expression on Adam, he can't, so he takes the coward's way out and looks away.
Minister Murdoch stares at Kris for a second, disgust clear on his face, sharpening as he transfers his gaze to Adam. "It's tempting to shoot your Captain first and watch you suffer it," he says viciously.
Adam's gasp is like a grenade pin dropping in the silence.
Minister Murdoch looks triumphant at the hit. He says, "But no. I've been waiting too long for this."
He takes a few steps forwards, aims for Adam. Kris jerks forward as the gunshot rings out. Adam's hand falls from his and all Kris can think is, No.
Minister Murdoch falls forward. In the doorway is Allie, steadying Kris's Acoustic on her arm, just like he taught her to. She looks at the body on the floor.
"I think he's dead," she says in a monotone that sounds nothing like her usual voice. "Adam?"
Kris looks, prepared for the worst. Adam is leaning away, like he'd tried to throw himself out of the way of a bullet but couldn't because his right arm, the arm that should be a weapon, is a bind, instead. He can't see Adam's face, just black hair, black jacket. Black, so as not to show the blood, Kris's brain offers.
Then Adam straightens up. "I'm okay," he says, shakily, and Kris could throw up in relief. Allie walks carefully around the body. She’s utterly composed until Adam reaches out for her and Kris sees her lip tremble as she is pulled into a one-armed hug. They cling to each other for a second, Adam with his eyes shut tight, breathing into her hair.
"Is he dead?" she asks.
Adam opens his eyes and says, "Definitely," almost instantly. Allie nods, and Kris feels proud and heartbroken all at once. He watches Adam stroke her hair, only the once, and is glad he can't see the expression on Adam's face. His baby sister.
"How did you even get out? What about the guard?" Adam asks.
"Oh, he’s unconscious. He underestimated me," Allie says, with a wobbly smile. "I've been picking these locks all my life, it didn’t take me long to get out of the room they put me in. Um. Then the bust of Great-great Aunt Cynthia turned out to be a surprisingly effective weapon." She turns in Adam’s arms to face Kris. “And then I saw that he still had your gun...” Kris smiles helplessly at her.
Allie lets go of her brother and rushes to hug Kris, and he holds her as tight as he can.
"You were perfect, Allie-girl," he tells her fiercely.
She looks up at him, eyes still shock-wide, all pupil. "It was my turn," she says, and Kris couldn't love her more. "Perfect," he repeats.
Allie leans into him again and puts her head on his shoulder.
Kris sees the Minister's body again, blood pooling underneath him on the floor. The hole in his back is right over where his heart would have been. Part of Kris wants to laugh. It's possible that he's in shock too. He doesn't know what might happen if he looks at Adam, so he focuses in on Allie.
Kris says, "Allie, I need you to see if the Minister has the keys to our cuffs, okay?" He hates asking, but he doesn't want to leave it so that Adam has to. Allie swallows. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and locks eyes with her. "I know, darling. You can do it, though."
He reaches out and Adam catches his hand again, both of them shaking almost too much to keep hold.
Allie scrubs at her eyes with her hands and tilts her head determinedly, an exact likeness of her brother. She walks across and with one finger pulls at the Minister's coat pocket, only looking at the body out of the corner of her eye. When she holds up a set of keys they jangle in her hand. She takes them over to Adam and begins to sort through, fumbling a few times. Allie tries a key in the lock and nearly drops the whole lot when it slides in.
Kris hears the sound of Adam’s cuffs being unlocked and pulls, Adam stumbling into him, Kris's back hitting the bed hard. He buries his face in Adam's shoulder, his one free hand sliding under Adam's jacket to tangle in his shirt, skin warm underneath the material. Warm, alive, safe, his mind repeats. Adam curls over Kris, fingers gripping bruising-hard at his arm and his hip.
Kris feels the handcuffs fall away from his aching wrist, and Allie move away, but everything else seems distant and strange; all he can see and feel and smell is Adam. The buttons on Adam's coat are pressing into his chest, and his heart is pounding in his ears like a gunshot, that gunshot, over and over.
"I thought he'd shot you," he confesses. Adam leans away so that Kris can see his face, and it should be easier to breathe now, except Adam's focus is all on Kris, so intent that Kris forgets how to think.
He brushes Adam's hair away from his eyes, thumb lingering on the curve of his brow, the soft skin at the outer reaches of his eye. Something shatters in Adam's eyes. He says, "Kris, he was going to, Kris," broken and helpless and not like Adam at all.
"I thought you were..." Kris says, but he can't bring himself to say dead. So Kris kisses him, fast and hard and a little angry. Adam's mouth is warm and desperate under his, a hard press of lips, a terrible kiss, and he says, "Kris," again, into his mouth. They’re pressed together too tightly to fix the angle, so Kris is scraping his lip over skin and stubble, and Adam is clutching his arm hard enough that it hurts. Kris bites into Adam’s mouth, still too stunned and mixed up for any kind of finesse, but it doesn’t matter. It's Adam.
They both gasp for breath at the same time, everything jumping back into bright lights and reality. Adam's eyes look huge and startled, and Kris says, "This can't be a shock, surely,” and then they are both laughing. Kris feels himself sliding down the post, taking Adam with him until they are crouching on the floor, knees tangled together and his throat hurts from laughing and he can't stop.
"I think we've gone mad," Adam manages to get out between giggles, resting his weight on Kris's bent knees, tears running down his face.
"Just when I thought this couldn't get any more inappropriate," Allie says. She's sitting at the foot of the bed, a blanket round her shoulders. "I'm not sure if this is better or worse than the kissing."
Adam holds out one arm and she slides down so that they are all wrapped up in a clumsy embrace. Kris feels the shaking start as they all start to breathe normally again. Allie shivers and pulls the blanket closer in around them.
"Why am I so cold all of a sudden?" she asks, leaning into Kris.
"It's the adrenaline come down," Kris says. "Captain Clarkson always used to says it's like finally taking a really long piss after wanting one for ages. It's so good it almost makes you dizzy and then you just feel empty."
Allie giggles and Adam shakes his head. "Okay, we're done. Inappropriateness threshold reached. Now what?"
As one they look at the body on the floor, the blood staining the thick, lush carpet. Adam moves so that he is blocking Allie's view, but he leaves his hand on Kris's knee, a solid, reassuring weight.
Allie hands Kris back his Acoustic, pulling it out her belt like it's an accessory that she is loaning him. "Do you think, I mean, I shot him. There’ll be repercussions."
"He was going to kill me. You, possibly," Adam starts as Kris says, “I could tell them that it was me. It's my gun." He doesn't think they'd do anything about the Princess Select shooting to save her own brother, but if there's the slightest risk, he's not letting her take it.
"Don't you start. We’re going to tell the truth. Hasn't there been enough self sacrifice for one day?" Allie says, exasperated and shaky.
Kris says, "Probably for a lifetime," before he can think it through and realises he's just agreed to let her...
So he makes a plan, as quickly as his brain will run, possibilities and people and resources rushing past his eyes like they're caught in a hurricane.
"There's still Adam’s trial tomorrow. And there's the three of us, and the crew, and everything we know. And probably a paper trail. Oh, and Daniel Gokey."
Allie makes a hmming noise as she tilts her head, the way she always does when she's plotting, the way that Adam does when he's unsure. "What are we doing with Daniel?"
“Using him,” Kris says, and watches Adam’s smile glitter sharp. “The Minister said he would support the people with power. Let’s make that us.”
Adam says, “If we can make all of this a coup d’état, we can’t be prosecuted for treason. If all of the people who we fired upon were working for Le Renard, and we can prove it, then it’s not a crime against the realm. We can get Daniel to play the reluctant usurper to the rightful Idol.” He doesn’t sound as happy as he should. “That is to say, me.”
Oh.
They have to cross that bridge now, into the future when Adam can’t go back to the command post that he loved and excelled at, and can’t stay on Kris’s ship. This is where he’ll have to stay. Kris has seen the way Adam looks when the Court is mentioned, at best closed off and at worst heartbreaking.
“Adam,” he says. He doesn’t even know where to start, but Adam looks like he understands.
“This isn’t some sort of self sacrifice thing, Kris, I promise.” Adam pulls a rueful face. “I learnt my lesson there. This is me making a good choice. This is how we beat those bastards.”
Kris puts his hand over Adam’s, where it’s still resting on Kris’s knee. “I still...” Adam says, and bites his lip.
Allie elbows Kris sharply and points with her head over Adam’s shoulder to where Minister Cowell is examining the body. He looks over at them and just shakes his head.
&&&&&
Minister Cowell’s people are alarmingly efficient at dealing with a dead body. After a brief, very unfazed discussion about getting some men in to remove it, he and his coterie herd Adam and Allie away, Kris suspects to plot. Adam turns as he leaves, makes a ‘what can you do?’ face, and says, “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine, okay?” But it doesn’t seem like that, with Kris left sitting on the edge of the stupid bed, alone with only a confused looking courtier and a large bloodstain for company. He doesn’t even know where Adam has been taken. It feels like everything Kris has been trying to prevent.
He sends a message out to the Conway and then sits by the dock and waits for his ship to arrive.
The Conway flies in that afternoon. It’s a rare sight for Kris to watch her in the air, all the familiar lines forming a new shape from down here.
The gangway has hardly touched the ground when his crew are pouring down it. Matt gets to Kris first and gives him a hard hug. “We didn’t mean for you two to get into a shoot-out with the Minister, Kris. What the hell were you thinking?” he says when he pulls back.
Kris says, “It wasn’t really a shoot-out.” He hides his face behind Meg’s hair for a moment. “He had all the guns.” He hasn’t seen anything of Adam or Allie since they left that room, and he’s been told not to expect to. Not until tomorrow, until the trial.
Everyone keeps telling Kris not to worry. He really doesn’t see why.
&&&&&
The trial is slow and terrible, like a very particular kind of torture. Adam sits, hands folded on his lap, and looks blankly straight ahead. He’s got his Upgrade back, thank god, but Kris can see that there are parts missing. And they wouldn’t even let Allie sit with the Conway crew. Instead she is all alone on the Royal Dais, surrounded by empty chairs that should hold her family.
And this is all just the setting. Kris has to sit through his crew giving evidence in the dock, and they may not be the ones on trial for their lives, but it’s still like watching his nightmares brought to life.
When they call, "Captain Kristopher Neil Allen of the Conway" to give evidence, Admiral Ross-Smythe holds up a hand, looking completely confused. He pulls the presiding Minister into a whispered conversation which ends with him saying, "Oh yes. The dashed stubborn boy with the blueprints."
It’s not the best of starts, and it doesn’t help at all with that lingering feeling that this is not where Kris belongs. A mere handful of these people have seen active service - he has no idea how they’re meant to understand what his ship has been through, never mind pass some sort of judgement on it. But you can only fight the war you’re in, so Kris sets his shoulders and answers the lawyer’s questions as best he can.
Lord Gokey ducks his head, contrite, when he steps up to start his testimony. This is it, the star turn, make or break and a hundred other cliches. “I was a pawn. Really,” he says, twisting his hands together. It could be an act, could be honest fear. Kris has no idea what Minister Murdoch said to Daniel to get him on board. He’s not sure that he wants to.
“I didn’t know such terrible things would be done in my name. I just did as I was told. As you can see from the letters, they were very insistent,” Daniel says. There is a small outbreak of nodding, and a few sympathetic murmurs, which get louder when he adds, “He’s my cousin, after all. How could I wish him harm?”
It’s a great performance. Kris knows, has heard it from the man’s own mouth, that he had his own reasons for wanting to be Idol - stupid and flawed though they were. Le Renard may have made the plan, but Daniel Gokey was all too willing to go along with it, to take Adam down, consequences be damned. But this is how the game is played here in Court, and Kris will take Daniel getting off a little too lightly if it means safety for Adam. “I never wanted to stand in the way of the Heir Apparent. If he wishes to take his place as Idol...” Daniel finishes, with a small bow in Adam’s direction. Which is his cue, apparently, to hand over the dock.
Adam looks like he was made for this, stepping effortlessly into his role as the centre of attention. He looks so certain that finally Kris feels like he can breathe again. He’s seen Adam’s eyes go gunmetal grey with determination, he could never doubt that Adam would fight and focus and win.
“There are only a few issues left to address,” the lawyer says. Adam stares down at him until he adds. “Um, your highness.”
Kris bites back a laugh at that. Adam glances up, looks right at Kris like he heard him, and they grin at each other - a finger-snap, heart-beat moment of perfect synchronisation.
Adam says, “I am willing to answer any questions you may have.”
“Sire, we have heard testimony that directs contradicts your statement regarding the incident involving the destruction of the towers at the Gokey estate. Did you give a false account to the arresting lieutenant?”
“I did,” Adam says. His expression doesn’t waver.
“Why did you do this?” the lawyer asks.
Adam is standing ramrod straight, the posture Kris is used to seeing when he’s about the fire his Upgrade. Kris wonders if he’s thinking like a soldier now, too, working out how to defeat this enemy. “It was very clear that my presence on board the Conway was putting the lives of everyone on that ship in danger. They could have been tried and executed or shot down by pirates or towers or Fleet ships, and it would have been because of me. I realised that the only way to keep them safe was to turn myself over to the authorities.”
“And you did this willingly, even though you knew there was the possibility of a death sentence?” the minister asks, in a tone that suggests this is deeply unlikely.
“My sister was on that ship,” Adam says. “She’s...” He stops, voice cracking as he looks helplessly over at Allie. Allie shuts her eyes for a second, clearly trying not to cry, and shakes her head at Adam. Kris wishes she was sitting here with them.
Adam visibly hauls himself back together. Kris may not care for Adam’s flat, back against the wall, courtier’s smile, but it’s better than seeing him cracked open like that in front of all of these people.
The lawyer opens his mouth and then seems to reconsider. Kris leans forwards a little and yes, Adam has seen the weakness and presses his advantage. “Furthermore, the crew of the Conway are the very last people who should be made to face charges of treason. They are quite simply some of the best people we have defending the realm.” Heads turn in their direction. Kris focuses on a nice neutral bit of wall just to the left of Adam’s head. “Their flawless service record speaks for itself,” Adam continues. Kris wouldn’t exactly use the term ‘flawless’ himself, and next to him Katy seems to be having trouble reining in a giggle. “I only spent a short time on board, but I witnessed every member of this crew putting their life on the life for their country. It would have been unthinkable not to do the same for them.”
“I see,” the lawyer says. Kris tries not to look too triumphant. The lawyer shuffles through some papers. “You were aboard the Conway because?”
“The Conway was sent to fetch me from my command post after the death of my father. I am the Heir Apparent and it was my duty to return and take my place as Idol.” Adam says the title without the usual note of bitterness.
“This is the first time you have actually declared your intention to become the next Idol, am I correct?” the lawyer says. “In the past you have expressed a wish to remain in your post with the military forces in the borders. And your general dissatisfaction with the court and its system is well known and extremely well documented.”
Adam says, “I’m not sure what the views of my younger self have to do with the matter at hand.”
“If we are to call the actions of ‘Le Renard’ a coup d’état, we must establish that you were indeed always planning to return as the Heir and claim your throne. Considering your past actions and statements, that is not a given.”
Kris hadn’t thought of that, but Adam doesn’t look concerned. “It has become clear to me, especially over the last few weeks, that I cannot leave my country at risk to men like Minister Murdoch. I would be failing in my duties to my people if I allowed that to happen. And as for the system, well, someone told me once that the best way to get what you want is to make the rules work for you.” He grins over at Kris again. “And that’s exactly what I intend to do.”
&&&&&
Kris pushes his way through the crush of people filling the courtroom floor until he gets to where Adam and Allie are standing pressed together, nodding politely at well-wishers.
“Kristopher Neil Allen?” Adam says when he spots him, raising an eyebrow. “You kept that to yourself.”
Kris grimaces. “Named for the Prince. I will be most surprised if you can think of a moment when that wouldn’t have been awkward to bring up.”
“Your highnesses, Captain Allen,” the Admiral says, coming up to them. “There is one more matter to clear up - the issue of the Princess’s involvement with the death of Minister Murdoch. If you would follow me?”
He ushers Kris, Adam and Allie into a small antechamber behind the man court room. There are already a number of men in there that Kris vaguely recognises - high ranking officials of the Court - seated around a long table.
Adam says, “I thought we’d already dealt with everything pertaining to the events of the last few days.” He sits down and Allie settles next to him, which leaves Kris the one remaining chair across from them.
“Ah, well, yes, but you see, her highness shot one of the most important figures in the realm. Inside the Mansion,” says the man at the head of the table. “It’s not the sort of thing that can just be swept under the rug, so to speak.”
“We have to make sure that the Princess understands the seriousness of her actions,” another man says.
Allie has been silent and pale throughout. Adam snaps, “Yes. I think she does. She killed someone. She didn’t want to but she did what she had to. Must we put her through anything further?”
The man looks over at Allie. Kris doesn’t understand how he can’t see what this is doing to her.
“No-one, even royalty, is above the law, your Highness,” he says.
Adam takes Allie’s hand. “If this was a war, Allison would not even have to explain herself. She shot to save a life. In the military we accept that as a necessary evil and then we move on.”
The minister shakes his head. “You military men, you see too much death and it loses any meaning to you. You may be able to treat it like some trivial matter, but we cannot.”
“Have any of you actually killed a man?” Kris asks. He looks around the table. “Well?”
“Captain Allen,” Admiral Ross-Smythe says, and actually tuts. “I’m not sure that...”
Kris doesn’t wait for him to finish. “I was 17 when I first shot someone. They were on a ship that was attacking mine, I took aim at a shape and after I fired the shape wasn’t there anymore. And I felt awful, because it didn’t seem like such a momentous act.” Adam is frowning at him, not angry but certainly confused. Kris continues, “About six months later I was serving on the Mission, and we were bogged down in the worst sort of campaign, a guerrilla war that was doing more harm to the local population than either side. I was on guard duty when a man tried to sneak into our supply tent.” He swallows, trying to get the taste of humid, smoke filled air out of his mouth. “We hardly had anything to eat as it was, and I had very strict orders about looters. So I shot him.”
The silence in the room is thick now. Kris hates this story, has only ever told it to Matt with the false courage of darkness and cheap whiskey to help him. But if this is what it takes to help Allie, so be it.
“He was pretty near to me, but I’d... At the last second I’d hesitated and my aim went. The bullet tore out most of his stomach, you could see his guts just spilling right out of him. He took a very long time to die. I should have done something about that, but I was too busy throwing up.”
He swallows again and stares down to the end of the table, right at the minister. “Military men kill because it is necessary, and we don’t sit around discussing the implications because we already know them. We know exactly what each death means, and believe me, there is nothing trivial about it.”
The minister in charge looks around the table. “Are we all in favour of treating Minister Murdoch’s death as an act of self defence in combat?” Every single man nods.
“Very well then.” He turns back to Allie. “You will write up a statement, sign it and turn it in to the Admiralty. You may go now, if you wish.”
Allie practically jumps out of her chair and comes round the table to Kris. He stands up so that she can hug him properly.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Kris says. “We should go back to the Conway, tell everyone the good news.”
They all file out of the room, Allie with an arm still looped in Kris's. They're just out of the door when Kris is pulled back by a hand on his shoulder. He turns to see Adam.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Adam asks. His voice is unusually quiet.
Kris says, “Sure,” but Adam doesn’t carry on. He just stares at Allie pointedly until she says, “Sorry! Right, okay, that kind of talk.” She flashes them both a grin and leaves.
Adam waits until they are completely alone in the corridor, and then he steps in nearer to Kris. “I just wanted to say thank you. You were amazing in there. Really. And I wanted to say...” he trails off.
Kris raises his eyebrows. "Are you lost for words? Because if so, I need some way to record this moment for posterity."
Adam is closer than close, hair falling over his eyes, and he's so handsome Kris wants to shake him to make sure he's actually here, directing his perfect smile at Kris of all people.
Adam says, "I’m trying to ask you... well. Everything I think of to say comes across as creepy or strange."
"Try me," Kris says. “I think I understand you, most of the time, even when you’re being strange.”
Adam fidgets with the button at his cuff. "So, do you want to kiss me in a room without my sister and a dead body in it?" Adam asks. He may be trying to be casual, but Kris can hear the truth in his voice. This is not a question about a kiss, they’ve already done that, this is a question about something much bigger, so he doesn’t make light when he says quickly, "Yes."
But Adam doesn’t follow through, just frowns and redoes his button, not looking at Kris. "I'm... My life is... I have to apologise for it, remember?"
Kris suddenly remembers that disgusted, dismissive look on Minister Murdoch's face.
"You are trouble, it's true," he says, and Adam's face shutters up, ready for the blow. "But you're worth it," Kris finishes, blurting the words out as fast as he can because of course Adam would think that Kris was going to just throw this away. Like he’d tried to before. He thinks about it for a moment, and then tells Adam, “Clearly you are an idiot, and I was one too.”
Adam smiles like being called an idiot is the most romantic thing he's ever heard, and leans down.
Kris has always tried not to think about Adam and kissing, but he should have known Adam would be good at this. His mouth eases Kris's open, one hand sliding around his waist, the links of the Upgrade cold through the cotton of Kris's shirt. Adam moves smooth and effortless as always - as when he was shooting to save Kris's ship, laughing in the pale sunlight, leaning against door frames, dancing, drinking, dreaming. Kris makes a hungry noise and arches into Adam, making the kiss deeper, with tongue and an edge of teeth. He finally gets his fingers onto that taunting sliver of skin between collar and hair, hand possessive on the back of Adam's neck, all that abstract, unknown wanting transformed into the feel of Adam's chest, hands, mouth, the taste of bitter coffee.
Adam trails his hand up Kris's side and then up over his chest until it's inches from Kris's face. Then he hesitates, just for a moment, and Kris feels the kiss change, like catching a new current in the air, edge into something somehow more intimate. He opens his eyes and leans into Adam's hand, remembering the uncertain dip of Adam's head.
"How could you possibly think I didn't want this?" he says.
Adam opens his - distractingly roughed up - mouth to protest. "You got unsure too," he says, accusingly.
Kris gapes at him. "Well obviously. I'm me and you are. Well. You're.." he tries an Adam special of a hand gesture, but it doesn’t come off. Adam just looks confused. "And I'm..." he pulls a face. "You know. Me."
Adam says, “Yes?” and Kris doesn’t know how to make him see. Kris tries only to focus on the familiar crook of Adam’s smile, but it’s a whole different context now. Adam on land, Kris at court. This is Adam after they’ve taken that step beyond friendship and stolen glances. This is someone Kris is kissing. It’s a ridiculous thought, but it tugs at the back of Kris’s mind. He feels raw with the newness of it all.
"I’m hardly the kind of man a Prince should have as his partner. I can’t dance to orchestras or even turn up to banquets on time. I don’t care for my dress uniform and I don’t know half of the Minister’s names. I know I’m good at some things, but I’m terrible at others. My hair is brownish and my eyes are brownish and I’m just... Ish-ish."
Adam stops the ramble by leaning forward and kissing him again, hand raking up into Kris's hair, and Kris loses his train of thought. Adam bites his bottom lip, just a light catch and pull, and says, "Ish-ish? What madness is this. Have you gone into shock again?"
"You say the sweetest things," Kris murmurs. He pushes Adam's face back with his nose until he can see him properly.
Adam's eyes are soft. Kris feels like he can see every thought in his head.
"You, Kristopher Allen, are the very best man I've ever known. You are. No ishs, ifs or buts. I was... I knew I wanted you from the moment you let me on board your ship and then warned me not to badmouth her. It was never about me not wanting you, I couldn’t stop if I tried. " It's probably the least polished speech Kris has ever heard Adam give. He wants to keep it safe somewhere, triple combination locked. "I don’t care about those things. About you not knowing names or wanting to go to stupid banquets and make small talk. You never gave a damn about my title or anyone else’s because you care about who people really are, and I like that about you.”
“Good. Because I like who you really are.” Kris shakes his head at himself. “Which makes me say stupid things to you, clearly.”
Adam looks away for a second. “We like each other, then. But that’s not really the issue here. There’s still the problem that I'm going to be Idol and you deserve better."
"You might want to give that sentence some thought," Kris tells him.
Adam's hand tightens round Kris's hip, Upgrade encircling him like he doesn’t want to let Kris go, even as he says, "I'd be asking you to deal with - to put up with - a lot. Give up some..."
"Not the Conway," Kris breaks in. Adam might be all he can see right now, but the Conway is his whole life. Kris is sure Adam knows that.
“No, no,” Adam says in a horrified tone.
“Because I have a responsibility to my crew and I can’t ever give that up, or put them second. They’re...”
“They’re your people. That I understand.” Adam says. “We both have duties, but that’s not all we are.”
Kris thinks about Katy’s sad smile as she told him to stop thinking in absolutes, and the strange empty feeling of his - their - cabin. “I suppose I could learn to share, if you can,” he says.
“Of course I can,” Adam says, “I don’t mind sharing you with the Conway. You love her. I love her.”
Kris says mournfully, "I knew you only wanted me for my airship" and Adam digs him in the ribs.
"I mean it, though, about me being Idol. People will find out that we're together. It's the Court. They'll say ugly things about you. If you wanted to be a Major, if you got any sort of promotion, they'd say it was favouritism even though you're clearly brilliant." Kris has never been called brilliant in such a matter of fact way before. It makes him want, well, all kinds of things actually, but for now he smiles up at Adam's proud, worried face and slides his hand to rest under Adam’s collar.
"Who wants to be a Major? I have almost everything I want already.” He holds Adam’s gaze so that he’ll know that Kris means this, light as he’s trying to be. “And I'll take what I can get, for the rest." He runs his thumb over the buckles at the top of Adam’s Upgrade, back where it belongs. Adam is the sum of so many parts, and Kris is stupidly fond of each one, and the whole that they make most of all. More than he ever expected.
Adam's face relaxes a little and he says, "I was sort of hoping you'd say that.” He strokes a finger down Kris's neck. “It just seemed kind of unlikely.”
“I think it’s because it’s a little bit terrifying,” Kris admits, and waits for the desperate feeling of vulnerability to hit him. It doesn’t.
“It is, isn’t it.” Adam huffs out a laugh. “I keep thinking about how I could get this wrong. I’ve done it before. And the future isn’t looking easy for either of us.”
“It isn’t,” Kris agrees. “I’ve never even let myself think about anything like this before, I’m not really sure what I’m doing.” Adam nods. Maybe this isn’t how things are supposed to go in great love stories, but this is how the two of them work, honest in their imperfections. Kris says, “But I think. I think it will be better, if we have each other.”
“So, we’re going to try this?" Adam asks, all soft hope.
Kris captures the smile as it reappears at the corner of Adam's mouth, kissing it wider and surer. He says, "Well. You must agree that at least trying is much better than leaving it to that other life with a following wind."
It had sounded so rational at the time, when all Kris had known was hopeless desire and that head rush whenever Adam said his name. When he hadn't known that it would be like this, like something that shouldn't be happening in a drab, featureless hallway somewhere near a law court. This deserves that diamond lit hall outside the Idol bedroom, shining and private and implausible as all hell.
"I would say that the sky looks pretty promising from here. But it's raining," Adam points out with a glance at the windows. He bites his lip. "And I hate to be trite and you would mock me, I'm sure. So. I'm selfish. Sod another life. I..." Adam looks a little bewildered, which is novel and wonderful.
"You want me in this one?" Kris suggests, letting his voice drop low and rough. He can want now, be a little selfish and take something for himself. Adam’s given him that. Now he can reciprocate.
Adam's eyes go dark, hungry, and he says, "Like you wouldn't believe" and then a goddamn voice says, "Your highness. Um."
Adam does some sort of horrible whole-body wince and straightens up.
"Yes."
The man at the end of the hall flinches like the word is something that Adam has thrown at him. "There are. They're asking for you in the Chambers. You have a great many duties today."
Adam snaps, "Yes," again, a little less vicious this time. "Tell them I will be there directly." He waves his hand dismissively and the man scurries away.
"Oh, I see. That's what you've been trying to achieve when you make that silly hand gesture," Kris says, tilting his head and trying to radiate an aura of You Are Worth This Trouble. "I did wonder."
Adam leans back down, one arm against the wall to take his weight, and rests his forehead on Kris's. "Perk of the job," he says, soft and a little ragged. Kris lets him stay there for a moment, wishing he could give Adam all the time he so clearly needs to redo his armour.
Then he says, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
Adam looks gratifyingly torn as he stands. "I'll come to the Conway, later," he promises, pressing a kiss into the corner of Kris's mouth. And then he's striding away.
Kris doesn't even wait until Adam is out of sight before turning away to head home, back to his ship, where everything will be loud and familiar, and Katy will mock him for sneaking out to make time with boys like she used to when Kris was 15 and had a sort of regular dalliance behind the grain silo with Cale.
She doesn't though. She smiles at him over the top of the paperwork that she's doing.
"Allison was here earlier, said you and the Commander had sneaked off together," she says happily, and oh god, this is far worse than teasing. This is Katy after her already blooming romantic side has been nurtured by the sunbeam of inappropriate glee that is Allison. Kris knows the signs.
He sighs, but it's hard to be too frustrated today, when everyone he loves is safe and Adam is somewhere changing the Kingdom, probably yelling at people and giving them a look that suggests that they are all disappointing him on many levels.
Kris can’t keep himself from smiling, and Katy shakes her head at him. "Oh darling," she says. "You are gone."
Kris says, "Please don't be too unbearably smug about this," but he walks over and hugs her anyway. She leans up into him and tucks her head under his chin. “I can’t help it if I’m happy for you. And also right; let’s not forget how right I am. You can call it smug if you want, but I choose right and happy.”
Kris kisses the top of her head, because she sounds it, and he loves her for it.
“So?” Katy asks. “I take it this means that you’ve decided to stop being obtuse idiots.”
Kris sits on the edge of her desk. “Nothing’s set in stone but... We’re going to be together and, just, see where we go.”
Katy nods, serious, and Kris loves her for that too, for the fact that he doesn’t have to explain how something that sounds so simple is really something quite momentous. He doesn’t quite know what is it he has with Adam yet - a little too new and raw for all the usual labels - and yet he can feel its possibility. It’s like holding a match in your cupped hands and knowing that, if you can protect it, it could ignite a fire. He thinks maybe where they go will be spectacular.
“We’re going to have to get Matt a new motto,” he says.
Katy looks down at her desk. “Working on it,” she mutters. She hands Kris a stack of papers. “Come on, Allen, plenty to be getting along with while you wait for your man to come home.”
&&&&&
It’s late into the afternoon by the time Adam returns to the Conway. Kris and Katy are bickering over who should have been compiling the fuel receipts when he arrives, looking slightly worn down.
Kris says, “Tough day?” as casually as he can.
“Is it too early to say ‘I quit?’” Adam says with a sigh.
“Hell yes,” Katy says. “Your highness.” Adam waves away the formality and drags a chair up to the table. He slumps down in it and exhales noisily.
Kris swallows a couple of times because his throat has gone weirdly dry. Seeing Adam back here, posture loosening like he’s come home - it makes Kris feel all kinds of things.
Adam sighs. “ I don’t want to you think I’m not grateful. After everything you’ve done to get me here...”
On instinct, Kris reaches out across the table and takes Adam’s hand. “I know,” he says. “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t feel like much but then Adam laughs, and it’s ragged but real.
“There are just so many idiots. And extraordinarily creepy people. And people who are scared of me. Or a combination of the three.” Adam might be smiling now but it’s hardly there, as if he’s a statue whose expression has been eroded away.
Kris says, “Let’s go for a whirl about the harbour.” He glances at Katy, who nods. “Just get into the air for a while, it’ll do us all good.”
Katy eases herself out of her chair. She says, “I’m sure everyone will be glad to fly for pleasure, for a change. Why don’t you go up to the look-out? I’ll marshall the troops.”
Adam is staring down at their linked hands with a strange expression. Kris says, “I couldn’t lie to Katy even if I wanted to, so...”
“No, no,” Adam says. He pulls Kris up, tugging him towards the door. “It wasn’t that. We should try and be discreet, obviously, but I like that she knows. It’s...” Adam pauses with his hand on the door knob. He’s still holding onto Kris and looks down at him almost incredulously. “It’s real.”
“You’re so observant,” Kris tells him. Adam snorts and opens the door. They let go of each other’s hands as they step out into the hall, but Adam walks slowly, pressed up against Kris’s side, all the way up onto deck.
Adam waves at Scott, who is tying off a line. “I said some hellos on my way down. No-one seemed that surprised to see me back here,” he remarks as they reach the look-out.
Kris leans on the railing by the array, smiling to himself. “They know you still owe us a cog.” The engines roar into life beneath them, the sky and sea spread out before them for the taking.
He feels something drop into his pocket. Adam leans close. “Anything you want, Captain Allen,” he murmurs.
Kris laughs. “So this is what being with the Idol is going to be like, all grandiose promises?” They’re both still looking straight ahead, but Kris thinks that he can feel Adam’s grin in the atmosphere, happiness charging the air around them.
“What does your heart desire?” Adam asks, far too sweet to be anything but a tease.
Kris hums to himself like he’s mulling it over. He says, “I want to fly round this harbour, get a lung full of clean air, and then I want to go back to our cabin and,” he pauses for careful effect and lowers his voice so that it’s covered by the engines, “break a few bunk rules.”
Adam splutters. Kris gives himself a mental pat on the back. He likes that he can unbalance Adam, too. “What can I say, I really feel like untying some knots,” Kris continues. Adam leans right in again his side, laughing helplessly.
“Hey,” Katy yells from behind them. “Do you want us to wait an hour so that the two of you can fly off into the setting sun?” Most of the crew are gathered around her, trying not to laugh and generally failing.
“You’re a menace, Katherine O’Connell,” he shouts back fondly. Kat salutes and raises her eyebrows at the same time, which is a combination only she could probably pull off. “But no, this is fine, perfect.”
“Perfect, hey?” Adam says softly, and when Kris turns to face him, Adam’s smile is like the horizon - beckoning and beautiful and full of possibility.
Kris doesn’t even try to hide behind fake flippancy, not with Adam. “Yes,” he says, quiet and unashamedly sincere. He calls down:
“Let her fly.”
Added Extras Post
brimtoast who made this sprawling mess make sense, and left me the funniest, most insightful, wonderful beta notes. She is the reason I wrote any of this. Anyway, enough with the speeches! On with the show!
For summary, rating, notes etc please see the Master Post
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five
&&&&&
They tear through ornately decorated corridors, the sound of their feet muffled by the plush carpet. Kris lets himself stay two steps behind Adam and Allie, because every turn they take looks the same to him, whereas they are barely looking around, guided by a lifetime’s certainty.
Adam stops, pulling Allie up short by the arm, and Kris clatters into them like something out of a bad farce, unable to fight momentum and hitting Adam’s shoulder hard. He winces. Adam turns his head to smile at him, fond and exasperated, and they could be on the deck of the Conway right now, with Kris being hopelessly poor at protocol and Adam pretending to mind. Something in Kris’s chest goes tight.
Adam places a finger to his lips theatrically, leans round the corner and then beckons them forward. There is a guard with his back to them at the other end of the corridor, a dark silhouette against the white and gold of the Mansion. Adam reaches behind a curtain – gold embroidered, of course – and something slides with the faintest of clicks. Kris’s heart thuds in his ears until they reach the curtain and slip behind it. Adam is waiting there in a dim, dusty passage, and Allie pushes the door shut behind them.
“Told you we knew a shortcut,” she whispers. “There shouldn’t be any more guards to contend with.” She looks disturbingly pleased with herself.
“Shouldn’t be?” Kris hisses back, because five seconds ago the guard could had a clear shot at Adam. He doesn’t say this though, because Allie’s hands are twisting together nervously, and Adam doesn’t need to hear that either, shoulders set rigid as he climbs the twisting staircase in front of them. Everyone has coping mechanisms; there’s no need to ruin Allie’s.
They climb in silence for what seems an age, passing doors set into the side of the wooden stairs that creak beneath them, the air thick with dust that clings to Adam’s hair and jacket, fading the black into misty grey.
“Neil used to use this to sneak us out of family breakfasts,” Allie says, voice soft. “Father was always doing paperwork. It was deadly dull.”
Adam glances back at them and says, “We used to pick the locks on all the rooms in between for fun,” with a look that goes wistful at the corners of his eyes. “We were good at it, too. The three of us - a proper little criminal gang, breaking out.”
They still haven’t talked about - it, them, anything - and it’s still a hugely inappropriate time, and Allie is still right there, but all Kris wants to do right now is take Adam’s hand and promise him the sky.
They reach a door set in a brick wall, and Adam gives it a thoughtful once over.
“This is the one, right, Al?” he asks, and she nods.
“It seems identical to all the other doors we’ve passed to me, I don’t know how you two do it, ” Kris tells them, and they both preen a little.
“You just have to know what you’re looking for. We’ve had a lot of practice,” Adam says graciously, a dust-covered diplomat.
Adam presses the side of the door and it rolls away, revealing a tapestry of a hunting scene. He and Allie exchange perfect, matching smiles of success.
Kris had thought that the parts of the Mansion he’d seen before were ornate, but this corridor takes the word to a whole new ridiculous level. There is colour everywhere: precious stones set into the windows, gold on the light fixtures, and intricate tapestries over every inch of wall space. This is what Adam and Allie used to escape from - this dream of a place.
There’s one door, carved with crowns, sceptres and curling vines, and set with a five-cog tumbler lock, by the looks of things. Kris has never seen one on anything other than a safe.
“I don’t doubt that you are both very talented lock-picks, but how are we going to get past this?” he asks, the urge to laugh bubbling up inside him. They could have come all this way to sit in a beautiful corridor and watch the light refract through the diamonds in the windows.
Adam reaches out and twists the combination lock. “I’m the Heir Apparent. Perks include knowing the over-ride code,” he says, and unlocks the door.
The door opens into a small reception area, the kind that Kris has sat in many times. It’s the kind meant to intimidate, with lots of sombre, rich furniture and pointedly uncomfortable chairs. Adam goes over to one of the three doors and tries the handle. It swings open, and Allie goes forward and takes his hand. They both look like they’d rather be anywhere else in the world right now.
Kris follows them into an enormous room dominated by a giant four-poster bed. The bed must be the size of most of the rooms that Kris has ever slept in, and he just stops and stares for a moment.
“It’s always been my dream bed. I only hope Gokey hasn’t been sleeping in it,” Adam says. Kris looks over just as he drops Allie’s hand, looking pained. “That would be the final straw.”
“Oh, because trying to kill you wasn’t enough,” Kris says, and Adam laughs, rich and lovely in the stillness. It feels like a lifetime since Kris heard Adam make such a carefree sound. He laughs a little too, letting himself smile properly at Adam for the first time since the, well, the not-yelling.
Adam’s expression changes into one that Kris normally associates with complicated mechanisms, wonder and want and happiness, and Kris thinks if they could only have five minutes not lurching from mortal peril to imminent death…
Allie calls, “Do you have a key for the desk?”
“I’m afraid not,” Adam says. They both hurry over to the large - of course it’s large and pointlessly over-decorated - desk, which is locked with a padlock.
Allie lifts the lock onto her palm and gives it a desultory look. She slides a hairpin out of her hair and goes to work.
“My sister - princess and criminal genius,” Adam says, as the desk opens up under her fingers. Allie stretches up and kisses him on the cheek, and they all lean in to study the contents of the desk, grinning at each other.
“How convenient. All my very least favourite people in one room.”
Kris whips round, perfectly in sync with Allie and Adam, and there are guns being pointed at them. Minister Murdoch is standing in the open doorway with two guards, a truly horrific smile stretching his face. He sweeps a look across the three of them and says, “Oh, I wouldn’t bother with resistance. Allison, that is a hairpin.”
Kris looks at Allie, who really is holding out her hairpin, and doesn’t move his hand from the top of his Acoustic. The two guards in the room edge a little closer together, rifles steadily aimed in their direction. The Minister looks over the array of metal and sniffs, “Captain Allen, my men would shoot you all down before you could even aim, however ‘quick on the draw’ you may be.” He says the words like they’re made up, like Kris hasn’t had to learn to be fast with his gun to save lives. Like this is a game. Kris looks at that mocking smile again and decides that he was right to call Minister Murdoch crazy.
"So, that confirms something for me. How is heading up Le Renard working out for you?" Adam says. His tone is light and conversational, one for afternoon tea, not encounters with firing squads.
"Rather well,” the Minister replies. “I see that your wish to be executed for treason is also progressing nicely." Adam scowls, and Kris feels that cold clutch of fear again.
Kris says, "Daniel Gokey knows we have Adam. And he knows all about your schemes now. He's not going to let the trial go ahead."
"Oh really? You honestly thought Daniel would support you over me? Who do you think told me you were all here," the Minister says, talking as if they're all a little slow and he's already bored of them.
"That damn coward," Allie bites out.
The Minister tuts. "Language, Allison. What would your father say? Oh dear, no."
Kris has never known hatred like this, burning like acid and white hot metal. But then, that's what the Minister wants, this old man in wire rimmed glasses with a mind like the worst sort of weapon. He wants them to hate, and be consumed by it.
"And I think you'll find that Daniel has made the smart decision. Smart people support those with the power to get them what they want. And considering I could have you all killed at this very second..."
Adam says, “There’s no need for this, Minister, really. Stand down the guards. We’ll cooperate.”
The Minister waves an idle hand. “You say that now. But give you five minutes and it’s all irritating survival and breaking out of jail and the like. I fear that it would be too much trouble. You always were far more trouble than your type,” the Minister gives Adam an ugly look, “is worth.” Adam’s face sets hard and he clenches his fist. Allie steps forward a little.
Minister Murdoch chuckles, utterly devoid of warmth. “His Highness does not want you dead, Princess. Nevertheless, I suggest you don’t try anything too stupid. My guards can do enough damage without putting your life at risk.”
Adam says, “Allie, just…” She turns to him, eyes huge and scared and so very blue. “Be smart,” he whispers, voice catching at the end.
Kris feels helpless anger rise up, and one finger strays down the handle of his Acoustic.
“Carter!” The Minister snaps, and one of the guards straightens. “Go take Captain Allen’s gun. He looks like he’s considering some sort of foolishness.”
The guard, Carter, hands his weapon to the Minister and approaches Kris. They’ve clearly been trained well; Kris could have tried to take the rifle from him as he reached to pick Kris’s Acoustic out of his belt. But there’s nothing he can do with two guns pointing at him from the other side of the room. At this range a rifle shot would go right through a person.
“Now, bring the Princess over here.”
Adam looks murderous as he watches the guard drag Allie back, locking her arm behind her with a vicious twist. Kris leans into Adam slightly and feels him shaking a little, the anger only just contained beneath his skin.
The Minister’s expression is one of perfectly composed savagery as he says, “Carter, take the Princess to her room and lock her in. My Lord Daniel - that is, His Highness - will want her...” he pauses, watching Adam’s face very closely, “pristine.”
Kris grips Adam’s sleeve, trying to communicate a warning through the cloth. Allie is marched out of the room, her face schooled blank, but there is no colour in it. The Minister lets his mouth turn up into a supercilious smile, directed right at Adam, who tenses up.
“He wants to get a rise out of you, don’t let him,” Kris whispers, even as he wants to punch that awful leer right off the man’s face.
“Less of that, I think,” Minister Murdoch says. He gestures at Kris with the rifle he’s holding, finger right on the trigger. “Over by the bed. Slowly, now, hands in front of you.” Kris untangles his fingers from Adam’s coat, coming away grimy with dust, and Adam moves, cut short, like he was about to follow Kris but decided against it. He gives Kris a look out the corner of his eye, serious like the one he gave Allie, a be smart, be safe look.
Kris edges over to the foot of the bed, one of the guards tracking his movement with his rifle, eyes narrowing over the barrel as he watches Kris. "Stop there" the Minister orders. The guard throws something and Kris catches it automatically. It's a pair of handcuffs. He looks up at the Minister questioningly. "To the post, Captain. Come along now, it's not difficult."
Kris allows himself a glance at Adam, just enough to see the defiant tilt of his head in profile. Kris puts his hand out and it doesn't shake. He attaches himself to the carved post slowly and deliberately - he figures no sudden moves is probably the order of the day. He leaves his stronger arm free, though, just in case.
“And now you to the right hand post, your highness,” the Minister says. “Can’t have you planning some dramatic manoeuvre. I can practically see that faux-heroic part of you just longing to rush my guard and take his rifle.”
Adam walks past Kris to the other bed post and locks his right wrist to it. The bed is so large that even if Kris stretched all the way out he wouldn’t be able to reach Adam now.
“You can go, Simms,” the Minister says. “I think I can manage things from here.” The guard bows before he leaves, and it makes Kris feel sick. He may not know much about protocol, but he’s pretty sure you aren’t supposed to bow to members of the Court. The message behind the gesture is clear. This man is in charge.
The Minister surveys them. “Yes, this is just how I wanted it. My merry band of troublemakers, now divided and quite at my mercy.” He breathes out. “I could have had Simms shoot you then and there, but there’s something very pleasing about having this much power alone. Yes. Very satisfying. Besides, it wouldn’t fit in with the narrative I’ve been preparing, the one where you are the villains and I get to play at being the hero.”
Kris wants to say, but no one will believe you, but he’s not sure that’s true any more.
The Minister says, "It goes something like this. The two of you come up here looking for His Highness because you're hellbent on assassination,and only my timely intervention stops you killing our beloved new monarch." His voice is singsong sweet, as if he's telling children's stories. It's possibly the most unsettling thing Kris has heard in his life. "I have to shoot you both, sadly, but at least the Idol will be safe."
"This really isn't necessary. You have our weapons and we're already on trial," Kris says. He knows there's probably no reasoning with the man, but he can't just stand there, cuffed to a bedpost of all things.
"I think I'll be the judge of what's necessary." The Minister hefts the rifle in his hands a little - Kris really hates it when there are guns being welded by people that aren't himself - and raises an eyebrow. “You, for example. I’m not sure that I’d judge you necessary."
"Sir," Adam breaks in sharply.
"Ah yes, the errant prince. You have something to say? Do you really think, after everything that you've done, you're in a position to bargain?"
"No. I know there's nothing I can... You can do what you want with me," Adam says, voice low and rough, a patch job of normality. "But the Captain here," he gestures at Kris, the movement jerky, "he hasn't done anything to you. Just let him go. Please."
It's the "please" that undoes Kris. He reaches out blindly for Adam's hand, brushing the very ends of his fingers, and hangs on, bending so their hands are linked, fingertip to fingertip.
The Minister’s expression shifts to uncomfortably speculative. "Not only traitors but degenerates, too," he spits out. "Oh, I think I will enjoy this." He leans on the door frame, casual stance and mad eyes and restless fingers on the trigger.
Adam's pull on Kris's fingers gets harder, as if he wants to grip his hand but can't. Kris risks looking at Adam. He’s staring ahead, right down the barrel of the rifle being pointed at him, head tilted up defiantly, his profile as jarringly handsome as ever. He turns his head towards Kris, eyes brilliant blue and hopeless. And Kris can't see that expression on Adam, he can't, so he takes the coward's way out and looks away.
Minister Murdoch stares at Kris for a second, disgust clear on his face, sharpening as he transfers his gaze to Adam. "It's tempting to shoot your Captain first and watch you suffer it," he says viciously.
Adam's gasp is like a grenade pin dropping in the silence.
Minister Murdoch looks triumphant at the hit. He says, "But no. I've been waiting too long for this."
He takes a few steps forwards, aims for Adam. Kris jerks forward as the gunshot rings out. Adam's hand falls from his and all Kris can think is, No.
Minister Murdoch falls forward. In the doorway is Allie, steadying Kris's Acoustic on her arm, just like he taught her to. She looks at the body on the floor.
"I think he's dead," she says in a monotone that sounds nothing like her usual voice. "Adam?"
Kris looks, prepared for the worst. Adam is leaning away, like he'd tried to throw himself out of the way of a bullet but couldn't because his right arm, the arm that should be a weapon, is a bind, instead. He can't see Adam's face, just black hair, black jacket. Black, so as not to show the blood, Kris's brain offers.
Then Adam straightens up. "I'm okay," he says, shakily, and Kris could throw up in relief. Allie walks carefully around the body. She’s utterly composed until Adam reaches out for her and Kris sees her lip tremble as she is pulled into a one-armed hug. They cling to each other for a second, Adam with his eyes shut tight, breathing into her hair.
"Is he dead?" she asks.
Adam opens his eyes and says, "Definitely," almost instantly. Allie nods, and Kris feels proud and heartbroken all at once. He watches Adam stroke her hair, only the once, and is glad he can't see the expression on Adam's face. His baby sister.
"How did you even get out? What about the guard?" Adam asks.
"Oh, he’s unconscious. He underestimated me," Allie says, with a wobbly smile. "I've been picking these locks all my life, it didn’t take me long to get out of the room they put me in. Um. Then the bust of Great-great Aunt Cynthia turned out to be a surprisingly effective weapon." She turns in Adam’s arms to face Kris. “And then I saw that he still had your gun...” Kris smiles helplessly at her.
Allie lets go of her brother and rushes to hug Kris, and he holds her as tight as he can.
"You were perfect, Allie-girl," he tells her fiercely.
She looks up at him, eyes still shock-wide, all pupil. "It was my turn," she says, and Kris couldn't love her more. "Perfect," he repeats.
Allie leans into him again and puts her head on his shoulder.
Kris sees the Minister's body again, blood pooling underneath him on the floor. The hole in his back is right over where his heart would have been. Part of Kris wants to laugh. It's possible that he's in shock too. He doesn't know what might happen if he looks at Adam, so he focuses in on Allie.
Kris says, "Allie, I need you to see if the Minister has the keys to our cuffs, okay?" He hates asking, but he doesn't want to leave it so that Adam has to. Allie swallows. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and locks eyes with her. "I know, darling. You can do it, though."
He reaches out and Adam catches his hand again, both of them shaking almost too much to keep hold.
Allie scrubs at her eyes with her hands and tilts her head determinedly, an exact likeness of her brother. She walks across and with one finger pulls at the Minister's coat pocket, only looking at the body out of the corner of her eye. When she holds up a set of keys they jangle in her hand. She takes them over to Adam and begins to sort through, fumbling a few times. Allie tries a key in the lock and nearly drops the whole lot when it slides in.
Kris hears the sound of Adam’s cuffs being unlocked and pulls, Adam stumbling into him, Kris's back hitting the bed hard. He buries his face in Adam's shoulder, his one free hand sliding under Adam's jacket to tangle in his shirt, skin warm underneath the material. Warm, alive, safe, his mind repeats. Adam curls over Kris, fingers gripping bruising-hard at his arm and his hip.
Kris feels the handcuffs fall away from his aching wrist, and Allie move away, but everything else seems distant and strange; all he can see and feel and smell is Adam. The buttons on Adam's coat are pressing into his chest, and his heart is pounding in his ears like a gunshot, that gunshot, over and over.
"I thought he'd shot you," he confesses. Adam leans away so that Kris can see his face, and it should be easier to breathe now, except Adam's focus is all on Kris, so intent that Kris forgets how to think.
He brushes Adam's hair away from his eyes, thumb lingering on the curve of his brow, the soft skin at the outer reaches of his eye. Something shatters in Adam's eyes. He says, "Kris, he was going to, Kris," broken and helpless and not like Adam at all.
"I thought you were..." Kris says, but he can't bring himself to say dead. So Kris kisses him, fast and hard and a little angry. Adam's mouth is warm and desperate under his, a hard press of lips, a terrible kiss, and he says, "Kris," again, into his mouth. They’re pressed together too tightly to fix the angle, so Kris is scraping his lip over skin and stubble, and Adam is clutching his arm hard enough that it hurts. Kris bites into Adam’s mouth, still too stunned and mixed up for any kind of finesse, but it doesn’t matter. It's Adam.
They both gasp for breath at the same time, everything jumping back into bright lights and reality. Adam's eyes look huge and startled, and Kris says, "This can't be a shock, surely,” and then they are both laughing. Kris feels himself sliding down the post, taking Adam with him until they are crouching on the floor, knees tangled together and his throat hurts from laughing and he can't stop.
"I think we've gone mad," Adam manages to get out between giggles, resting his weight on Kris's bent knees, tears running down his face.
"Just when I thought this couldn't get any more inappropriate," Allie says. She's sitting at the foot of the bed, a blanket round her shoulders. "I'm not sure if this is better or worse than the kissing."
Adam holds out one arm and she slides down so that they are all wrapped up in a clumsy embrace. Kris feels the shaking start as they all start to breathe normally again. Allie shivers and pulls the blanket closer in around them.
"Why am I so cold all of a sudden?" she asks, leaning into Kris.
"It's the adrenaline come down," Kris says. "Captain Clarkson always used to says it's like finally taking a really long piss after wanting one for ages. It's so good it almost makes you dizzy and then you just feel empty."
Allie giggles and Adam shakes his head. "Okay, we're done. Inappropriateness threshold reached. Now what?"
As one they look at the body on the floor, the blood staining the thick, lush carpet. Adam moves so that he is blocking Allie's view, but he leaves his hand on Kris's knee, a solid, reassuring weight.
Allie hands Kris back his Acoustic, pulling it out her belt like it's an accessory that she is loaning him. "Do you think, I mean, I shot him. There’ll be repercussions."
"He was going to kill me. You, possibly," Adam starts as Kris says, “I could tell them that it was me. It's my gun." He doesn't think they'd do anything about the Princess Select shooting to save her own brother, but if there's the slightest risk, he's not letting her take it.
"Don't you start. We’re going to tell the truth. Hasn't there been enough self sacrifice for one day?" Allie says, exasperated and shaky.
Kris says, "Probably for a lifetime," before he can think it through and realises he's just agreed to let her...
So he makes a plan, as quickly as his brain will run, possibilities and people and resources rushing past his eyes like they're caught in a hurricane.
"There's still Adam’s trial tomorrow. And there's the three of us, and the crew, and everything we know. And probably a paper trail. Oh, and Daniel Gokey."
Allie makes a hmming noise as she tilts her head, the way she always does when she's plotting, the way that Adam does when he's unsure. "What are we doing with Daniel?"
“Using him,” Kris says, and watches Adam’s smile glitter sharp. “The Minister said he would support the people with power. Let’s make that us.”
Adam says, “If we can make all of this a coup d’état, we can’t be prosecuted for treason. If all of the people who we fired upon were working for Le Renard, and we can prove it, then it’s not a crime against the realm. We can get Daniel to play the reluctant usurper to the rightful Idol.” He doesn’t sound as happy as he should. “That is to say, me.”
Oh.
They have to cross that bridge now, into the future when Adam can’t go back to the command post that he loved and excelled at, and can’t stay on Kris’s ship. This is where he’ll have to stay. Kris has seen the way Adam looks when the Court is mentioned, at best closed off and at worst heartbreaking.
“Adam,” he says. He doesn’t even know where to start, but Adam looks like he understands.
“This isn’t some sort of self sacrifice thing, Kris, I promise.” Adam pulls a rueful face. “I learnt my lesson there. This is me making a good choice. This is how we beat those bastards.”
Kris puts his hand over Adam’s, where it’s still resting on Kris’s knee. “I still...” Adam says, and bites his lip.
Allie elbows Kris sharply and points with her head over Adam’s shoulder to where Minister Cowell is examining the body. He looks over at them and just shakes his head.
&&&&&
Minister Cowell’s people are alarmingly efficient at dealing with a dead body. After a brief, very unfazed discussion about getting some men in to remove it, he and his coterie herd Adam and Allie away, Kris suspects to plot. Adam turns as he leaves, makes a ‘what can you do?’ face, and says, “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine, okay?” But it doesn’t seem like that, with Kris left sitting on the edge of the stupid bed, alone with only a confused looking courtier and a large bloodstain for company. He doesn’t even know where Adam has been taken. It feels like everything Kris has been trying to prevent.
He sends a message out to the Conway and then sits by the dock and waits for his ship to arrive.
The Conway flies in that afternoon. It’s a rare sight for Kris to watch her in the air, all the familiar lines forming a new shape from down here.
The gangway has hardly touched the ground when his crew are pouring down it. Matt gets to Kris first and gives him a hard hug. “We didn’t mean for you two to get into a shoot-out with the Minister, Kris. What the hell were you thinking?” he says when he pulls back.
Kris says, “It wasn’t really a shoot-out.” He hides his face behind Meg’s hair for a moment. “He had all the guns.” He hasn’t seen anything of Adam or Allie since they left that room, and he’s been told not to expect to. Not until tomorrow, until the trial.
Everyone keeps telling Kris not to worry. He really doesn’t see why.
&&&&&
The trial is slow and terrible, like a very particular kind of torture. Adam sits, hands folded on his lap, and looks blankly straight ahead. He’s got his Upgrade back, thank god, but Kris can see that there are parts missing. And they wouldn’t even let Allie sit with the Conway crew. Instead she is all alone on the Royal Dais, surrounded by empty chairs that should hold her family.
And this is all just the setting. Kris has to sit through his crew giving evidence in the dock, and they may not be the ones on trial for their lives, but it’s still like watching his nightmares brought to life.
When they call, "Captain Kristopher Neil Allen of the Conway" to give evidence, Admiral Ross-Smythe holds up a hand, looking completely confused. He pulls the presiding Minister into a whispered conversation which ends with him saying, "Oh yes. The dashed stubborn boy with the blueprints."
It’s not the best of starts, and it doesn’t help at all with that lingering feeling that this is not where Kris belongs. A mere handful of these people have seen active service - he has no idea how they’re meant to understand what his ship has been through, never mind pass some sort of judgement on it. But you can only fight the war you’re in, so Kris sets his shoulders and answers the lawyer’s questions as best he can.
Lord Gokey ducks his head, contrite, when he steps up to start his testimony. This is it, the star turn, make or break and a hundred other cliches. “I was a pawn. Really,” he says, twisting his hands together. It could be an act, could be honest fear. Kris has no idea what Minister Murdoch said to Daniel to get him on board. He’s not sure that he wants to.
“I didn’t know such terrible things would be done in my name. I just did as I was told. As you can see from the letters, they were very insistent,” Daniel says. There is a small outbreak of nodding, and a few sympathetic murmurs, which get louder when he adds, “He’s my cousin, after all. How could I wish him harm?”
It’s a great performance. Kris knows, has heard it from the man’s own mouth, that he had his own reasons for wanting to be Idol - stupid and flawed though they were. Le Renard may have made the plan, but Daniel Gokey was all too willing to go along with it, to take Adam down, consequences be damned. But this is how the game is played here in Court, and Kris will take Daniel getting off a little too lightly if it means safety for Adam. “I never wanted to stand in the way of the Heir Apparent. If he wishes to take his place as Idol...” Daniel finishes, with a small bow in Adam’s direction. Which is his cue, apparently, to hand over the dock.
Adam looks like he was made for this, stepping effortlessly into his role as the centre of attention. He looks so certain that finally Kris feels like he can breathe again. He’s seen Adam’s eyes go gunmetal grey with determination, he could never doubt that Adam would fight and focus and win.
“There are only a few issues left to address,” the lawyer says. Adam stares down at him until he adds. “Um, your highness.”
Kris bites back a laugh at that. Adam glances up, looks right at Kris like he heard him, and they grin at each other - a finger-snap, heart-beat moment of perfect synchronisation.
Adam says, “I am willing to answer any questions you may have.”
“Sire, we have heard testimony that directs contradicts your statement regarding the incident involving the destruction of the towers at the Gokey estate. Did you give a false account to the arresting lieutenant?”
“I did,” Adam says. His expression doesn’t waver.
“Why did you do this?” the lawyer asks.
Adam is standing ramrod straight, the posture Kris is used to seeing when he’s about the fire his Upgrade. Kris wonders if he’s thinking like a soldier now, too, working out how to defeat this enemy. “It was very clear that my presence on board the Conway was putting the lives of everyone on that ship in danger. They could have been tried and executed or shot down by pirates or towers or Fleet ships, and it would have been because of me. I realised that the only way to keep them safe was to turn myself over to the authorities.”
“And you did this willingly, even though you knew there was the possibility of a death sentence?” the minister asks, in a tone that suggests this is deeply unlikely.
“My sister was on that ship,” Adam says. “She’s...” He stops, voice cracking as he looks helplessly over at Allie. Allie shuts her eyes for a second, clearly trying not to cry, and shakes her head at Adam. Kris wishes she was sitting here with them.
Adam visibly hauls himself back together. Kris may not care for Adam’s flat, back against the wall, courtier’s smile, but it’s better than seeing him cracked open like that in front of all of these people.
The lawyer opens his mouth and then seems to reconsider. Kris leans forwards a little and yes, Adam has seen the weakness and presses his advantage. “Furthermore, the crew of the Conway are the very last people who should be made to face charges of treason. They are quite simply some of the best people we have defending the realm.” Heads turn in their direction. Kris focuses on a nice neutral bit of wall just to the left of Adam’s head. “Their flawless service record speaks for itself,” Adam continues. Kris wouldn’t exactly use the term ‘flawless’ himself, and next to him Katy seems to be having trouble reining in a giggle. “I only spent a short time on board, but I witnessed every member of this crew putting their life on the life for their country. It would have been unthinkable not to do the same for them.”
“I see,” the lawyer says. Kris tries not to look too triumphant. The lawyer shuffles through some papers. “You were aboard the Conway because?”
“The Conway was sent to fetch me from my command post after the death of my father. I am the Heir Apparent and it was my duty to return and take my place as Idol.” Adam says the title without the usual note of bitterness.
“This is the first time you have actually declared your intention to become the next Idol, am I correct?” the lawyer says. “In the past you have expressed a wish to remain in your post with the military forces in the borders. And your general dissatisfaction with the court and its system is well known and extremely well documented.”
Adam says, “I’m not sure what the views of my younger self have to do with the matter at hand.”
“If we are to call the actions of ‘Le Renard’ a coup d’état, we must establish that you were indeed always planning to return as the Heir and claim your throne. Considering your past actions and statements, that is not a given.”
Kris hadn’t thought of that, but Adam doesn’t look concerned. “It has become clear to me, especially over the last few weeks, that I cannot leave my country at risk to men like Minister Murdoch. I would be failing in my duties to my people if I allowed that to happen. And as for the system, well, someone told me once that the best way to get what you want is to make the rules work for you.” He grins over at Kris again. “And that’s exactly what I intend to do.”
&&&&&
Kris pushes his way through the crush of people filling the courtroom floor until he gets to where Adam and Allie are standing pressed together, nodding politely at well-wishers.
“Kristopher Neil Allen?” Adam says when he spots him, raising an eyebrow. “You kept that to yourself.”
Kris grimaces. “Named for the Prince. I will be most surprised if you can think of a moment when that wouldn’t have been awkward to bring up.”
“Your highnesses, Captain Allen,” the Admiral says, coming up to them. “There is one more matter to clear up - the issue of the Princess’s involvement with the death of Minister Murdoch. If you would follow me?”
He ushers Kris, Adam and Allie into a small antechamber behind the man court room. There are already a number of men in there that Kris vaguely recognises - high ranking officials of the Court - seated around a long table.
Adam says, “I thought we’d already dealt with everything pertaining to the events of the last few days.” He sits down and Allie settles next to him, which leaves Kris the one remaining chair across from them.
“Ah, well, yes, but you see, her highness shot one of the most important figures in the realm. Inside the Mansion,” says the man at the head of the table. “It’s not the sort of thing that can just be swept under the rug, so to speak.”
“We have to make sure that the Princess understands the seriousness of her actions,” another man says.
Allie has been silent and pale throughout. Adam snaps, “Yes. I think she does. She killed someone. She didn’t want to but she did what she had to. Must we put her through anything further?”
The man looks over at Allie. Kris doesn’t understand how he can’t see what this is doing to her.
“No-one, even royalty, is above the law, your Highness,” he says.
Adam takes Allie’s hand. “If this was a war, Allison would not even have to explain herself. She shot to save a life. In the military we accept that as a necessary evil and then we move on.”
The minister shakes his head. “You military men, you see too much death and it loses any meaning to you. You may be able to treat it like some trivial matter, but we cannot.”
“Have any of you actually killed a man?” Kris asks. He looks around the table. “Well?”
“Captain Allen,” Admiral Ross-Smythe says, and actually tuts. “I’m not sure that...”
Kris doesn’t wait for him to finish. “I was 17 when I first shot someone. They were on a ship that was attacking mine, I took aim at a shape and after I fired the shape wasn’t there anymore. And I felt awful, because it didn’t seem like such a momentous act.” Adam is frowning at him, not angry but certainly confused. Kris continues, “About six months later I was serving on the Mission, and we were bogged down in the worst sort of campaign, a guerrilla war that was doing more harm to the local population than either side. I was on guard duty when a man tried to sneak into our supply tent.” He swallows, trying to get the taste of humid, smoke filled air out of his mouth. “We hardly had anything to eat as it was, and I had very strict orders about looters. So I shot him.”
The silence in the room is thick now. Kris hates this story, has only ever told it to Matt with the false courage of darkness and cheap whiskey to help him. But if this is what it takes to help Allie, so be it.
“He was pretty near to me, but I’d... At the last second I’d hesitated and my aim went. The bullet tore out most of his stomach, you could see his guts just spilling right out of him. He took a very long time to die. I should have done something about that, but I was too busy throwing up.”
He swallows again and stares down to the end of the table, right at the minister. “Military men kill because it is necessary, and we don’t sit around discussing the implications because we already know them. We know exactly what each death means, and believe me, there is nothing trivial about it.”
The minister in charge looks around the table. “Are we all in favour of treating Minister Murdoch’s death as an act of self defence in combat?” Every single man nods.
“Very well then.” He turns back to Allie. “You will write up a statement, sign it and turn it in to the Admiralty. You may go now, if you wish.”
Allie practically jumps out of her chair and comes round the table to Kris. He stands up so that she can hug him properly.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Kris says. “We should go back to the Conway, tell everyone the good news.”
They all file out of the room, Allie with an arm still looped in Kris's. They're just out of the door when Kris is pulled back by a hand on his shoulder. He turns to see Adam.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Adam asks. His voice is unusually quiet.
Kris says, “Sure,” but Adam doesn’t carry on. He just stares at Allie pointedly until she says, “Sorry! Right, okay, that kind of talk.” She flashes them both a grin and leaves.
Adam waits until they are completely alone in the corridor, and then he steps in nearer to Kris. “I just wanted to say thank you. You were amazing in there. Really. And I wanted to say...” he trails off.
Kris raises his eyebrows. "Are you lost for words? Because if so, I need some way to record this moment for posterity."
Adam is closer than close, hair falling over his eyes, and he's so handsome Kris wants to shake him to make sure he's actually here, directing his perfect smile at Kris of all people.
Adam says, "I’m trying to ask you... well. Everything I think of to say comes across as creepy or strange."
"Try me," Kris says. “I think I understand you, most of the time, even when you’re being strange.”
Adam fidgets with the button at his cuff. "So, do you want to kiss me in a room without my sister and a dead body in it?" Adam asks. He may be trying to be casual, but Kris can hear the truth in his voice. This is not a question about a kiss, they’ve already done that, this is a question about something much bigger, so he doesn’t make light when he says quickly, "Yes."
But Adam doesn’t follow through, just frowns and redoes his button, not looking at Kris. "I'm... My life is... I have to apologise for it, remember?"
Kris suddenly remembers that disgusted, dismissive look on Minister Murdoch's face.
"You are trouble, it's true," he says, and Adam's face shutters up, ready for the blow. "But you're worth it," Kris finishes, blurting the words out as fast as he can because of course Adam would think that Kris was going to just throw this away. Like he’d tried to before. He thinks about it for a moment, and then tells Adam, “Clearly you are an idiot, and I was one too.”
Adam smiles like being called an idiot is the most romantic thing he's ever heard, and leans down.
Kris has always tried not to think about Adam and kissing, but he should have known Adam would be good at this. His mouth eases Kris's open, one hand sliding around his waist, the links of the Upgrade cold through the cotton of Kris's shirt. Adam moves smooth and effortless as always - as when he was shooting to save Kris's ship, laughing in the pale sunlight, leaning against door frames, dancing, drinking, dreaming. Kris makes a hungry noise and arches into Adam, making the kiss deeper, with tongue and an edge of teeth. He finally gets his fingers onto that taunting sliver of skin between collar and hair, hand possessive on the back of Adam's neck, all that abstract, unknown wanting transformed into the feel of Adam's chest, hands, mouth, the taste of bitter coffee.
Adam trails his hand up Kris's side and then up over his chest until it's inches from Kris's face. Then he hesitates, just for a moment, and Kris feels the kiss change, like catching a new current in the air, edge into something somehow more intimate. He opens his eyes and leans into Adam's hand, remembering the uncertain dip of Adam's head.
"How could you possibly think I didn't want this?" he says.
Adam opens his - distractingly roughed up - mouth to protest. "You got unsure too," he says, accusingly.
Kris gapes at him. "Well obviously. I'm me and you are. Well. You're.." he tries an Adam special of a hand gesture, but it doesn’t come off. Adam just looks confused. "And I'm..." he pulls a face. "You know. Me."
Adam says, “Yes?” and Kris doesn’t know how to make him see. Kris tries only to focus on the familiar crook of Adam’s smile, but it’s a whole different context now. Adam on land, Kris at court. This is Adam after they’ve taken that step beyond friendship and stolen glances. This is someone Kris is kissing. It’s a ridiculous thought, but it tugs at the back of Kris’s mind. He feels raw with the newness of it all.
"I’m hardly the kind of man a Prince should have as his partner. I can’t dance to orchestras or even turn up to banquets on time. I don’t care for my dress uniform and I don’t know half of the Minister’s names. I know I’m good at some things, but I’m terrible at others. My hair is brownish and my eyes are brownish and I’m just... Ish-ish."
Adam stops the ramble by leaning forward and kissing him again, hand raking up into Kris's hair, and Kris loses his train of thought. Adam bites his bottom lip, just a light catch and pull, and says, "Ish-ish? What madness is this. Have you gone into shock again?"
"You say the sweetest things," Kris murmurs. He pushes Adam's face back with his nose until he can see him properly.
Adam's eyes are soft. Kris feels like he can see every thought in his head.
"You, Kristopher Allen, are the very best man I've ever known. You are. No ishs, ifs or buts. I was... I knew I wanted you from the moment you let me on board your ship and then warned me not to badmouth her. It was never about me not wanting you, I couldn’t stop if I tried. " It's probably the least polished speech Kris has ever heard Adam give. He wants to keep it safe somewhere, triple combination locked. "I don’t care about those things. About you not knowing names or wanting to go to stupid banquets and make small talk. You never gave a damn about my title or anyone else’s because you care about who people really are, and I like that about you.”
“Good. Because I like who you really are.” Kris shakes his head at himself. “Which makes me say stupid things to you, clearly.”
Adam looks away for a second. “We like each other, then. But that’s not really the issue here. There’s still the problem that I'm going to be Idol and you deserve better."
"You might want to give that sentence some thought," Kris tells him.
Adam's hand tightens round Kris's hip, Upgrade encircling him like he doesn’t want to let Kris go, even as he says, "I'd be asking you to deal with - to put up with - a lot. Give up some..."
"Not the Conway," Kris breaks in. Adam might be all he can see right now, but the Conway is his whole life. Kris is sure Adam knows that.
“No, no,” Adam says in a horrified tone.
“Because I have a responsibility to my crew and I can’t ever give that up, or put them second. They’re...”
“They’re your people. That I understand.” Adam says. “We both have duties, but that’s not all we are.”
Kris thinks about Katy’s sad smile as she told him to stop thinking in absolutes, and the strange empty feeling of his - their - cabin. “I suppose I could learn to share, if you can,” he says.
“Of course I can,” Adam says, “I don’t mind sharing you with the Conway. You love her. I love her.”
Kris says mournfully, "I knew you only wanted me for my airship" and Adam digs him in the ribs.
"I mean it, though, about me being Idol. People will find out that we're together. It's the Court. They'll say ugly things about you. If you wanted to be a Major, if you got any sort of promotion, they'd say it was favouritism even though you're clearly brilliant." Kris has never been called brilliant in such a matter of fact way before. It makes him want, well, all kinds of things actually, but for now he smiles up at Adam's proud, worried face and slides his hand to rest under Adam’s collar.
"Who wants to be a Major? I have almost everything I want already.” He holds Adam’s gaze so that he’ll know that Kris means this, light as he’s trying to be. “And I'll take what I can get, for the rest." He runs his thumb over the buckles at the top of Adam’s Upgrade, back where it belongs. Adam is the sum of so many parts, and Kris is stupidly fond of each one, and the whole that they make most of all. More than he ever expected.
Adam's face relaxes a little and he says, "I was sort of hoping you'd say that.” He strokes a finger down Kris's neck. “It just seemed kind of unlikely.”
“I think it’s because it’s a little bit terrifying,” Kris admits, and waits for the desperate feeling of vulnerability to hit him. It doesn’t.
“It is, isn’t it.” Adam huffs out a laugh. “I keep thinking about how I could get this wrong. I’ve done it before. And the future isn’t looking easy for either of us.”
“It isn’t,” Kris agrees. “I’ve never even let myself think about anything like this before, I’m not really sure what I’m doing.” Adam nods. Maybe this isn’t how things are supposed to go in great love stories, but this is how the two of them work, honest in their imperfections. Kris says, “But I think. I think it will be better, if we have each other.”
“So, we’re going to try this?" Adam asks, all soft hope.
Kris captures the smile as it reappears at the corner of Adam's mouth, kissing it wider and surer. He says, "Well. You must agree that at least trying is much better than leaving it to that other life with a following wind."
It had sounded so rational at the time, when all Kris had known was hopeless desire and that head rush whenever Adam said his name. When he hadn't known that it would be like this, like something that shouldn't be happening in a drab, featureless hallway somewhere near a law court. This deserves that diamond lit hall outside the Idol bedroom, shining and private and implausible as all hell.
"I would say that the sky looks pretty promising from here. But it's raining," Adam points out with a glance at the windows. He bites his lip. "And I hate to be trite and you would mock me, I'm sure. So. I'm selfish. Sod another life. I..." Adam looks a little bewildered, which is novel and wonderful.
"You want me in this one?" Kris suggests, letting his voice drop low and rough. He can want now, be a little selfish and take something for himself. Adam’s given him that. Now he can reciprocate.
Adam's eyes go dark, hungry, and he says, "Like you wouldn't believe" and then a goddamn voice says, "Your highness. Um."
Adam does some sort of horrible whole-body wince and straightens up.
"Yes."
The man at the end of the hall flinches like the word is something that Adam has thrown at him. "There are. They're asking for you in the Chambers. You have a great many duties today."
Adam snaps, "Yes," again, a little less vicious this time. "Tell them I will be there directly." He waves his hand dismissively and the man scurries away.
"Oh, I see. That's what you've been trying to achieve when you make that silly hand gesture," Kris says, tilting his head and trying to radiate an aura of You Are Worth This Trouble. "I did wonder."
Adam leans back down, one arm against the wall to take his weight, and rests his forehead on Kris's. "Perk of the job," he says, soft and a little ragged. Kris lets him stay there for a moment, wishing he could give Adam all the time he so clearly needs to redo his armour.
Then he says, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
Adam looks gratifyingly torn as he stands. "I'll come to the Conway, later," he promises, pressing a kiss into the corner of Kris's mouth. And then he's striding away.
Kris doesn't even wait until Adam is out of sight before turning away to head home, back to his ship, where everything will be loud and familiar, and Katy will mock him for sneaking out to make time with boys like she used to when Kris was 15 and had a sort of regular dalliance behind the grain silo with Cale.
She doesn't though. She smiles at him over the top of the paperwork that she's doing.
"Allison was here earlier, said you and the Commander had sneaked off together," she says happily, and oh god, this is far worse than teasing. This is Katy after her already blooming romantic side has been nurtured by the sunbeam of inappropriate glee that is Allison. Kris knows the signs.
He sighs, but it's hard to be too frustrated today, when everyone he loves is safe and Adam is somewhere changing the Kingdom, probably yelling at people and giving them a look that suggests that they are all disappointing him on many levels.
Kris can’t keep himself from smiling, and Katy shakes her head at him. "Oh darling," she says. "You are gone."
Kris says, "Please don't be too unbearably smug about this," but he walks over and hugs her anyway. She leans up into him and tucks her head under his chin. “I can’t help it if I’m happy for you. And also right; let’s not forget how right I am. You can call it smug if you want, but I choose right and happy.”
Kris kisses the top of her head, because she sounds it, and he loves her for it.
“So?” Katy asks. “I take it this means that you’ve decided to stop being obtuse idiots.”
Kris sits on the edge of her desk. “Nothing’s set in stone but... We’re going to be together and, just, see where we go.”
Katy nods, serious, and Kris loves her for that too, for the fact that he doesn’t have to explain how something that sounds so simple is really something quite momentous. He doesn’t quite know what is it he has with Adam yet - a little too new and raw for all the usual labels - and yet he can feel its possibility. It’s like holding a match in your cupped hands and knowing that, if you can protect it, it could ignite a fire. He thinks maybe where they go will be spectacular.
“We’re going to have to get Matt a new motto,” he says.
Katy looks down at her desk. “Working on it,” she mutters. She hands Kris a stack of papers. “Come on, Allen, plenty to be getting along with while you wait for your man to come home.”
&&&&&
It’s late into the afternoon by the time Adam returns to the Conway. Kris and Katy are bickering over who should have been compiling the fuel receipts when he arrives, looking slightly worn down.
Kris says, “Tough day?” as casually as he can.
“Is it too early to say ‘I quit?’” Adam says with a sigh.
“Hell yes,” Katy says. “Your highness.” Adam waves away the formality and drags a chair up to the table. He slumps down in it and exhales noisily.
Kris swallows a couple of times because his throat has gone weirdly dry. Seeing Adam back here, posture loosening like he’s come home - it makes Kris feel all kinds of things.
Adam sighs. “ I don’t want to you think I’m not grateful. After everything you’ve done to get me here...”
On instinct, Kris reaches out across the table and takes Adam’s hand. “I know,” he says. “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t feel like much but then Adam laughs, and it’s ragged but real.
“There are just so many idiots. And extraordinarily creepy people. And people who are scared of me. Or a combination of the three.” Adam might be smiling now but it’s hardly there, as if he’s a statue whose expression has been eroded away.
Kris says, “Let’s go for a whirl about the harbour.” He glances at Katy, who nods. “Just get into the air for a while, it’ll do us all good.”
Katy eases herself out of her chair. She says, “I’m sure everyone will be glad to fly for pleasure, for a change. Why don’t you go up to the look-out? I’ll marshall the troops.”
Adam is staring down at their linked hands with a strange expression. Kris says, “I couldn’t lie to Katy even if I wanted to, so...”
“No, no,” Adam says. He pulls Kris up, tugging him towards the door. “It wasn’t that. We should try and be discreet, obviously, but I like that she knows. It’s...” Adam pauses with his hand on the door knob. He’s still holding onto Kris and looks down at him almost incredulously. “It’s real.”
“You’re so observant,” Kris tells him. Adam snorts and opens the door. They let go of each other’s hands as they step out into the hall, but Adam walks slowly, pressed up against Kris’s side, all the way up onto deck.
Adam waves at Scott, who is tying off a line. “I said some hellos on my way down. No-one seemed that surprised to see me back here,” he remarks as they reach the look-out.
Kris leans on the railing by the array, smiling to himself. “They know you still owe us a cog.” The engines roar into life beneath them, the sky and sea spread out before them for the taking.
He feels something drop into his pocket. Adam leans close. “Anything you want, Captain Allen,” he murmurs.
Kris laughs. “So this is what being with the Idol is going to be like, all grandiose promises?” They’re both still looking straight ahead, but Kris thinks that he can feel Adam’s grin in the atmosphere, happiness charging the air around them.
“What does your heart desire?” Adam asks, far too sweet to be anything but a tease.
Kris hums to himself like he’s mulling it over. He says, “I want to fly round this harbour, get a lung full of clean air, and then I want to go back to our cabin and,” he pauses for careful effect and lowers his voice so that it’s covered by the engines, “break a few bunk rules.”
Adam splutters. Kris gives himself a mental pat on the back. He likes that he can unbalance Adam, too. “What can I say, I really feel like untying some knots,” Kris continues. Adam leans right in again his side, laughing helplessly.
“Hey,” Katy yells from behind them. “Do you want us to wait an hour so that the two of you can fly off into the setting sun?” Most of the crew are gathered around her, trying not to laugh and generally failing.
“You’re a menace, Katherine O’Connell,” he shouts back fondly. Kat salutes and raises her eyebrows at the same time, which is a combination only she could probably pull off. “But no, this is fine, perfect.”
“Perfect, hey?” Adam says softly, and when Kris turns to face him, Adam’s smile is like the horizon - beckoning and beautiful and full of possibility.
Kris doesn’t even try to hide behind fake flippancy, not with Adam. “Yes,” he says, quiet and unashamedly sincere. He calls down:
“Let her fly.”
Added Extras Post
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2011-06-30 10:41 am (UTC)*Goes off to buy cogs*
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Date: 2011-06-30 11:21 am (UTC)I've basically spent the last year fretting that someone would beat me to the punch and post something similar! Every fandom should have a steampunk AU. If I had my way they would be as ubiquitous as the high school AU :D
Hee, cogs have become something of an obsession of mine. Dammit, Adam...
<3!
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Date: 2011-06-30 11:50 am (UTC)By the way, I'm listening to the playlist posted on your extras page. Loving it :)
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Date: 2011-06-30 09:23 pm (UTC):D! I was considering posting the extremely in depth thought process that went into choosing each song. I have a lot of feelings! But I figured it might be a bit too much #waytooinvestedinthisverse